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Sometimes it's difficult to acknowledge that one may be wrong, however, in my case, it happens constantly. However, unlike other people, I can't seem to let go of my pride and ask for forgiveness. I either try to prove myself right, or find some desperate way to get out of saying "I'm sorry". I guess this is just one of my character flaws.

I'm also over critical of myself and expect to be perfect at everything that I attempt. I'm not sure why I do this, I'm not a perfect human being, I'm not god, so why do I try so hard? Why can't I just be happy with who I am? Is it because I have low self estem? But how can I, DeathsMercy, have low self esteem? I'm intelligent, prideful, a true warrior at heart; however, at the end of the day, I always think that I am not good enough. Maybe it's acceptance that I am after?

I think that's it. I want the acceptance of those around me, so I talk a certain way, I act a certain way, or I become a certain way just to know that those around me accept me, but not necessarily for the way that I truly am. This is why I am so confused...because if I don't become the doctor that I boasted that I could become, then I'll be a fake..and I won't be accepted.

I came home because I thought I could find this acceptance within my family' however, here too I find disapproval from both my mother and my brother. I'm not intelligent enough to get all A's. I'm not a genius. I'm just a boy that is a bit above average. I think that my overweight or my obesity contributes to the self image that I have about myself. If it weren't for me being overweight, I might be comfortable with not being so perfect all the time; I wouldn't need a farce or a facade to hide under. One day though, I will be happy with myself.