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Today was dull as hell. My entire morning was complete repetition…

Scan, bag, total, receipt, Smile! Next.

Repeat a thousand times.

Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing worth noting except maybe for the incredible amount of old farts that smell like cheese and flowers. What was today? Take your ancient diseased grandma out of the house day? This one old woman had like… deep scabs all over what was left of her fingers. I swear she had leprosy, but maybe that’s not something to make fun of. You know what they say – what you say about others will happen to your children. Thank god I’m not having kids. Either way I used hand sanitizer until my hands burned. I don’t know if that s**t’s contagious!

So after a plethora of old smelly people comes my lunch break which, as usual, was entirely uneventful. That is... unless you want me to summarize the book I'm reading. I'm sure you don't.

So I come back from my lunch break and continue with my slow and dull day.

That is until this remarkably memorable customer comes up to my register. She was shorter than me by about a head and a half, and she was with a man who towered above me. She was very shy and kept telling the man, “Go on, ask her. Ask her.” He seemed nervous, but not as much as she did.

“Um… how… much can I get cash back? With debit?”

“Up to one hundred dollars.”

He looks at her, and I swear I can’t take my eyes off her.

After they leave I turn to my co-worker and I say, “Oh my ******** god. I swear I just saw a goblin.”

She turns toward the ATM, looks back at me and gives me the biggest ******** smile. There they are – standing there.

Ok, so this…. creature. She was so ******** ugly. She had these small beady black eyes, and she tried using a straight line of blue eyeshadow but it only made her uglier. All of her features were centered in the middle of her wide face in a narrow point, except for her enormous bulbous nose which angled out for at least one inch and then straight down like it tried to slide off her face but only made it halfway. And here’s the real kicker. Her hair! Her hair was salt and pepper and reminded me of Frankenstein’s wife. It was like a beehive gone wrong. After about a foot of gravity defying tattered mess was a ponytail that stuck straight out sideways and curved into a lightning bolt zig-zag.
She played the genetic lottery and lost.

I think I had a horrified face for about three customers. She seemed to have that affect on people. Maybe I was hallucinating and I imagined her… There just so happened to be nobody around at the time. Or maybe that was because she scared them all off.

After that we had a cashier’s meeting preparing us for Blitz (Black Friday, or “March Day” as Walmart chose to call it this year). I get to wear a pink glowstick necklace! Woot! We were also told that us cashiers aren’t pleasant enough. The manager kept stressing that we need to smile more, and talk to our customers more. Oh, and we need to really push Walmart Credit Cards. Hello, have you seen the economy lately? The majority of this sad mountain town is tweekers or drug dealers. Like THEY qualify. Oh well.

Just another day at your local friendly Walmart!