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My Pensieve
Warning: Journal may contain funny things that may bring you to tears, or sad things that may just as well bring you to tears, and perhaps some truth that may also bring you to your knees. Viewer discretion is advised, if you are boring, ignorant, or
Dirty Jokes LOL
There was this little boy and little girl in the park playing when a gust of wind blew up the little girl's dress. The boy saw and said, "Whats that?" and the little girl said, "I don't know, pull your pants down."
So he did and the little girl said "What's that?" and the little boy replied, "I don't know."
So the little boy and girl went to their homes later that day and the little girl asked her mom, "Mommy, what's this?" and the mother replied, "Sweetheart, that's your garage. Whatever you do NEVER let a boy park his car in it." and the little girl said, "ok mom".
Later that night, the little boy and his dad we're taking a bath together and the little boy asked, "Daddy what's this?" and the father replied, "Son, that's your car; park it in a girl's garage whenever you get the chance." and the little boy said, "ok".
So the next day they are both supposed to be at the park, but the little girl comes home screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" and the mother being concerned asked, "What happened, what's wrong?" The little girl smiled and said, "Mommy, your gonna be so happy with me! This little boy was at the park and tried to park his car in my garage but I tore his two back wheels off!!"

~ ~ ~


A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants.
The Bartender asks, "whats with the wheel?"
The pirate says, "Ar! It drives me nuts!"

~ ~ ~


One day a little boy came in saying that he wanted to skip from 3rd grade to 4th grade because he was so smart. His teacher took this to the Principal, and he quizzed the boy on usual 4th grader stuff. "Well I think he can move onto 4th grade." The principal said. "Hold on." The teacher said. "Let me quiz him."

The teacher turned to the boy and asked, "What do you have in your pants that I do not in mine." The principal was shocked that the teacher had asked such a question, but before he could stop the child from answering the boy said, "Pockets."

"Good. What goes in hard and comes out soft and pink?" Again the principal was shocked, but the boy answered. "Bubblegum."

"Ok, what has three holes, is hairy, and filled with liquid?" The principal was truly having a nervous breakdown now. "Coconut."

"Very good, now this is the last question. What starts with F and ends with K and involves alot of heat and action?" The principal was sure he was going to have a heart attack and tried to stop the boy. The boy just smiled and said, "Firetruck!"

And with that the teacher turned to the principal and said, "I think he is ready for the 4th grade." The principal answered saying, "Put him in the 5th grade, I didn't get any of those answered right."

~ ~ ~


The Frog

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.

He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.

He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?"

Of course the Madam said no.

He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want."

Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.

He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"

He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant for dinner, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-b***h who ran over my FROG!"





 
 
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