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In my youth, I was plagued by the idea of being inferior to those around me. I wanted to be stronger, smarter, faster, and the best. Only in the small time I have as an adult have I realized how foolish I can be. I was built to be weaker than others. I was made to struggle and become better than those around me. Perfection is something earned through determination and sacrifice. Nothing is acquired automatic or quickly. If so, then it is for not. Foundation and rooted thoughts dictate the actions we can actually achieve.

When I wake up with knots in my stomach and my soul screaming for resolve, i feel a chill creep through my spine. I have a moment of clarity and see my life as this revolving door of failure. I have an image of myself living in this world surpassing those around him and striving for things not heard of in this world, but I can only see him in this world in my mind and no other place. In this nightmare of reality, I find myself trying to seek out refuge amongst the weak and in music. In the tomes of clouded sound and fury have I found myself. I can only account for my life to change if I accept the fate I have rolled for myself and strive for myself.

I am stronger, faster, and smarter than most, but I must not conceded with the thoughts of being better than others. I have to no longer measure myself to them, but to myself. I only know how to defeat me. I am on the holding the weak points of my center and I am the one pulling the strings of my own fate. Those are who are superior know of this and see themselves in twisted skewed views of the world. Logic dictates actions and consequences funnel from those decisions. We all have fates and we all have destinies chained to our own desires and hopes. We choose to be who we are because we have no only way to adopt. We shield our persona away from others and put on fronts. We no longer carry our feelings on sleeves nor do we rely on the speech of others to actually create resolve for our problems. We listen to our pains and give in. We know we can fail, we know we can't do anything with others, but we have to try. We have to be better. We have to grow.