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What do you do when it's past midnight, the gentleman you love is sleeping quietly on the opposite side of the bed, and the beautiful music of frat boys surrounds you, but you just can't sleep yet?
well apparently you rediscover old memories.
also, a question- when did Monday nights become party nights? I missed the memo, but the fine, fine gentlemen smashing beer bottles certainly received it loud and clear.
there comes a point in life where you think to yourself "dear God. Was I really like that?" And I had that realization a few minutes ago when I thought - woah. Gaia. I used to use that. And then I had that feeling a little stronger when I read over a few journals. And then I wanted to quietly smother my past-self with a pillow and whisper "shh. Its okay. Just sit there quietly until you get some common sense."
A slight pause in the note. I will put on pants and grab a cardigan, then I will continue this outside.
I have noticed that the above statement seems to imply that I was not previously wearing pants. I will neither confirm or deny.
It seems that I may or may not have awoken the gentleman in my pursuit of pants. I believe he will keep sleeping though.
ahh the night-outdoors. Much better than the day outdoors. Its peaceful, temporarily. I cansit outside of the apartment next to the cigarette butts on the ground, makeup-lesss, shoe-less, and bra-less, and proclaim I AM A LADY. Look at all these ******** I'm giving.
being here has. Changed me a bit. I can't say how much, as I currently lack the perspective.
there's something liberating about leaving everyone. And also terribly sad. Going elsewhere and realizing that people Don't Know You.
its kind of wonderful. But also, makes you realize things about yourself.
sitting outside at 2am reading a book by streetlight and lying on the sidewalk in. hopes of seeing a shooting star-apparently not always acceptable. Many questions of Are You Okay? And questioning look
s. Frat boys yelling "lets get some p***y!" And
then quickly shutting up when they see me to ask...are youReading?
My human IS awake. Says I didn't wake him but..lets be honest,I shut the door fairly loudly, my fault.
Kindles are a b***h to type on sometimes. Can't scroll down. It jumps around. Anyways.
i have met some interesting night-people. One guy named nick talked to me about the meteor shower that was supposed to happen, then stopped by a half hour later to ask if I had seen any. He was friendly and not in a creepy "I'm only talking to you because you have boobs" way.
ive met a fair amount of good people while playing the ukulele downtown too. But also I've met an Abundance of "you are a female And you play a ukulele? What are You doing tonight? Wanna go to a party? " kind of people. To which I want to reply Yeah definitely! Can I invite my boyfriend? Just to get a good giggle.
Really though, it does get lonely here.
I saw a cat three nights ago.
I would very much like a cat.
but cats cost money, which is something I currently lack due to rent costs and etc.
However. I got a job today.
...buzzing tables. But posssibly serving. I'm sure I can pick up the menu fast and start making tips soon.
but alas. Money. Being responsible and whit is stressful. And realizing youre short on next months rent is even more stressful.
add on top of that college starting. Awesome!
Theatre auditions are apparently next week. To which I say- s**t.
monologues. Picture. Resume? Ahhhhhhhhh.
I don't think I actually want to be cast just yet.
but auditions are important to be seen and etc.
Really though, a one act would be preferable to a mainstage show. Unless I got a bigger part, but even I think I could use some training beforehand.
oh theatre.
I'm going to go back inside. Watch some House. Eventually sleep. I may or may not write again. Admittedly, I kind of miss the anonymity of it all.