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Time
I haven't been on gaia for more than 15 minutes on gaia recently. I like gaia, it reminds me so much of the anime I watch. Today I just finished the regular clannad series and began watching the after story. Basically it's the life of Tomoya and Nagisa after they're done with school. I didn't think it would be any good, but after watching all of it, it seemed to be quite good on the contrary. Definitely sad during some parts of it, but what affected me the most was what I planned to do with my life after school is over. Will I go to college? Will I find the perfect girl for me? Will I be happy with my choice? Then after asking myself all these questions I began to wonder what will I do. If I'll do anything useful. Or even be remembered at all when I'm gone. After that I began to also think, how much time do I have to do any of these things? Am I to die young? Old? Now? I ponder many of these things. I think on what will I do when I lose those closest to me. I often ponder if it will hurt to die or if it's painless. If there is an eternal life after-death or do I just get buried six feet under to rot in the earth as if I were garbage. To those reading I hope I don't depress you too much, hell who am I kidding who would read such trash... I'm just another son of a b***h who thinks he's the only one who thinks like this. Well... I'm wrong. I spend most of my time in solitude, in a far-away world where I'm alone and no one else can reach me because I'm an inconsiderate a*****e. I'm not sociable, not charming, only people I can even try to communicate with is adults. Strange, one would think that it would be the opposite if anything. Guess I could be called a man-out-of-time. Someone born into a world foreign to them. I can't relate to nearly anyone of my age so I don't usually try; therefore, people think I'm a loner and always in a foul mood. Sometimes this is true, but only cause of having to do something I would like to not do. If you got this far I thank you for caring or being so bored your reading people's journal cause you have nothing better to do yourself. Either way thanks for reading, I could continue but I have to go sleep my life away...later. ^__^
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