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How Love affected me
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Dependency Issue
Ok, so I watch Youtube videos frequently well into the night on weekends becuase I am searching for a way to remedy my problems. I discovered a video called
"s**t Jealous Girls Say" by ilikeweylie. So after the video, I look up jealousy and find that it doesn't quite fit my problem with Jamesy, my old friend from high school. So I search "too attached" and found a forum where somebody wrote that they were developing a crush on friends and then felt unwanted when those friends started going out with/ talking to boyfriends/ girlfriends. Sorry this is getting long...I scroll down and someone mentions having "dependency issues".
So I looked it up and it described me word for word, like, I was freaking out. Here's what it said:

not confident, prone to mistakes, indecisive, desires security and support, fears having no guidance or support, frequently feels envious, not productive without reassurance, gets very attached to people, feels guilty when they disagree with people, seeks acceptance and recognition from peers, dramatizes their suffering, impressionable, can be talked into doing things, fears being unwanted or unworthy of love, never knows what to do next, personality is centered around low self esteem issues, swayed by emotions, can't handle people being mad at me, freezes up in stressful situations, influenced more by others than self, avoids responsibilities, life lacks direction, prone to paranoia, prone to shame, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness


So this is not only a problem I have with my high school friend, but with people around me at school. I am in college, second year, still meeting new people but I have definitely shut myself out from other people and I am just afraid to speak, except when people ask me questions. So basically I have a huge problem because I have trouble telling people about my problems.

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