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Late night thoughts
"I wonder how my friends are doing..."
They don't need you.
"Wha- Well yeah, technically no one "needs" anyone, bu-"
I mean you aren't as important to them.
"That's not true.."
Really? Then why don't you ever hang out with them? Or get invited places?
"W-Well, they know I don't exactly have the means of transportation..."
And they can't ask to carpool, right?
"That's not exactly their decision to make-"
But if they really wanted you around, they would ask. Or try something because they know you sure as hell can't.
"Bu-"
But nothing. Face it, you're just not as important. Hell, they rarely even talk to you outside of school, if ever. And the fact you can't go anywhere without one of them having to pick you up and drop you off, or avoid social events with numerous people, or can't even ask for help without getting anxious makes you a burden.
I'm sure he thinks so to. So don't be surprised if he leaves soon because he's tired of all your bullshit
"He won't leave!"
Really? What makes you think that? Because he promised? Like that worked out so ******** well for you the last time! It may be all fine now, but sooner or later he is going to get tired of all your cynicism, sarcasm, and the fact that you don't know how to express your emotions into words very well and have trouble accepting compliments, and just ******** leave to find someone better. No questions asked.
"No... That's not... That's not gonna happen!..."
You keep believing that. But the fact won't change that you're a loner, burden, whiny, and an annoying waste of the space that you take up in this pathetic excuse of a life. As much as you want to believe it, no one cares about you as much as you think they do. They're gonna replace you and forget you and abandon you.
"Shut up..."
What? Can't handle the truth?
"Shut. Up!"
IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT YOU CAN'T ******** FUNCTION PROPERLY. LOOK HOW MESSED UP YOU ARE. LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE PATHETIC! YOU'RE TERRIFIED OF BEING LEFT ALONE AND ABANDONED. YOU CAN'T ENJOY LARGER SOCIAL SITUATIONS BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO ESCAPE. YOU CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT. YOU LOCK YOURSELF IN A ROOM ALL DAY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR. YOU SHUT YOURSELF OUT FROM EVERYONE BECAUSE YOU'RE TERRIFIED OF YOUR TRUST BEING BETRAYED AGAIN. YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE COMPLIMENTS OR HELP FROM THE ONE PERSON THAT WANTS NOTHING MORE THAN FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY BECAUSE YOU DON'T THINK YOU DESERVE IT. SO DON'T EVEN TRY TO TELL ME THAT YOU'RE NOT.
"I SAID SHUT UP!"
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