look what you did you ******** up so bad you ******** up so bad look what you did look what you did you ******** up look what you did look what you did look what you did you worthless sack of s**t you're lucky to be forgiven right now you don't deserve it you don't deserve anything you have how do people even still like you if you can't even keep one stupid ******** promise and you say you're so good at that s**t well apparently not you ******** hypocrite you try so hard but it isn't good enough nothing you do will ever be good enough but you know that and it kills you you deserve to be all alone it's the truth people love you without knowing how much you beat yourself up over the smallest things i wonder if they still would if they could catch a glimpse inside your head i don't think so i think they'd get tired of all the self-loathing and intrusive thinking and questioning and doubting everything to the point that for you to believe that something is real or that you finally have a good thing you have to be constantly reassured that you won't be left alone or behind or abandoned and that's really sad how do you know people don't hate you and are just acting like they want to be around out of pity because they know how much you hate yourself and are terrified of being alone it's not like you would know they are or aren't yet here you are trying to convince yourself that you deserve to have all the people in your life and that they truly do care about you
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