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Another dream. I can't remember the details of the first one, but I remember waking up over and over with tears in my eyes. I felt that it wasn't the dream per-say making me cry, rather it was someone else's tears and I couldn't control myself. I'd rub my eyes and try to bury my face away into my pillow, hoping it'd remedy the issue but it didn't. Eventually, I just washed my face and cried over a sink for a few minutes.

I don't know what to make of my nights anymore and my days are all but the same in their repetitive nature. Each day, my thoughts of returning back to her grow stronger and stronger with this thickening depression that I can't. I keep breathing in that fresh air and warm skies even while being in this god forsaken cesspool. As I've written before, I'm afraid of how much more I can shoulder till I snap. This time, being worse than any others before it.

The only light in this very dark time is that I thankfully start work very soon. I know as soon as I start, this stagnation will finally be gone from my daily routine. My thoughts no longer clouded with depression and repressed emotions. That finally, I'll have my own escape from everything whilst building myself up as a person. Yet, this is what I've come to fear as well; Fearing that I'll lose the love in my heart for you and forget what beautiful dreams and days we've shared together. Maybe you'd think them all lies but that all stands on the perspective.

Even so, I suppose each moment in life has to fade. Maybe I just refuse it because I don't want to forget the magic we've shared together. Not because I believe it could happen again... But because it was the realest thing in this very dreary existence of mine.