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Worked rather late last night and I wanted to write this when I got back, however, I crashed very hard into my bed.

On my way home, I was writing a storm of what I wanted to tell her, hoping that each word and each thing written was the exact thing needed to say. Yet... When I started to re-read my work, something I really have to practice, I noticed it was all written in "I"'s and "My"'s, completely ignoring her's and your's. So, I quickly deleted the writing and went back to try and write it, more friendly to her ideals until it hit me:

I already know what she wants and that's distance and time. I want to believe that there's something more than the pain and frustration that we both feel, but the fact of the matter is that I'm trying to force us to work out all over again.

And as that settled in, I deleted my messages and easily lost the ambition to write to her again. I don't want to seem desperate, even though with all these posts I might as well be wearing a sign saying it, and I want to finally prove myself that I can take her words to my heart. So, I guess it's best that I just stop trying my hardest to think of something to say... Rather, just live each day as I'm currently doing so until something changes... maybe it will never and I'll just have to accept it...