"Stay alive for me."
That was the last thing Rai had heard before his consciousness slipped and he faded back to that dark hole that kept him alive. It pushed away the pain and took a hold of his determination to live, his will that had always been strong. He was tired, but he wouldn't give up. He had promised Ren he would never die. It was a cocky statement during a peaceful time, but there was no way he was going to slip away yet. Not without a fight.
***
It had not been an easy task trying to survive such injuries as Rai had sustained, and it had been just as difficult for those trying to keep him alive. Shizuka and Suzu had fought to keep his heart beating as the surgeon finally showed up to stitch up the wounds. Even he had said there was a very slim chance of surviving; but any normal person would have been dead by then. Rai was lucky to have lived as long as he had with those wounds.
Death had been a tempting offer, however, several times through the procedures. It would have been easy to let himself go, but always Ren's face would appear, words would echo through his head, and the blonde would grab onto his will for dear life and pull through even the worst bouts of pain.
It was difficult and draining. Even after the surgery Suzu and Shizuka were at Rai's side to make sure the wounds stayed closed and his body kept living. They made sure he didn't move too much in his sleep, which was often plagued with struggles to keep himself alive. To keep Ren from worrying and witnessing such things, they sent him, along with Alice, Hunter, and Izumi, out to hunt for the remaining demons. They had all disappeared when Tryn fell to Alice's blade in the small clearing. No one knew if they were mourning or plotting revenge, but whatever the reason, they hadn't been seen since. Only minor demons that caused small problems, which four of the Seven took care of easily.
About ten days after the incident, Rai was in a more stable condition, able to keep himself conscious for longer periods of time. It actually looked as if he would live, but there was still that chance; he was still very vulnerable. The gunslinger still couldn't move without pain and he was normally too tired to do much of anything on his own. But he was able to stay awake to hear the reports of what was going on with the world, mostly concerning the demons.
The fact that he would possibly never be able to weild his pistols again to help the others in battle always came back full force during these times. It was hard to face in itself. Rai would constantly look down at his bandaged apendages, knowing there was only a slim chance he would hold much of anything anymore.
But Ren continually helped his lover through the difficult times. He would sit quietly by the bed when it wasn't his turn to hunt, and when Shizu and Suzu needed a rest. He would talk to reassure Rai he would be fine, offer small touches, and often fell asleep right there on the side of the bed. There were even times when they reminised, especially about the lives past that they had experienced together.
Those were what pulled Rai through most, he suspected. He knew they would be born again when everything was over, and he would be able to use his hands again. Bad things had happened in the past, but they were always reborn new and whole. Whatever happened in this life to his body didn't matter in the long run.
As a month passed, Rai became more stable. Maybe he wouldn't recover fully, so that he could wield his weapons, or exert himself the way he used to, but he would live. He would just have to take it easy. Unfortunately, being stuck so long in bed, shadowed away from the world was starting to get to Rai. He was never one to sit still for long, even when he was injured. But no one trusted he was strong enough to support himself yet, so he was stuck there restless.
"I hate sitting here like this..." Rai mumbled moodily. He had finally been allowed to sit up, propped by pillows, but that was about it. Ren had been allowed to stay behind with his bedridden boyfriend while everyone else was either gathering supplies or hunting demons.
"Stop whining." Ren commented half-heartedly as he unwrapped the bandages from Rai's hands. They were pale where the cloth had hid them, and scars showed along his palms in the worst possible places. Rai attempted to flex his fingers, but cringed as pain shot throug him. The tendons had been severed in several places, especially for his three middle fingers; the surgeon had tried to fix them, but it was difficult since they were so small. All he could rely on now was faith and time. He was lucky to have his fingers move at all, if only just a little.
A sigh fell from the blonde's lips as Ren took one hand, massaging the palm gently to relax it. Rai had to fight to relax the muscles in his arm so that it wouldn't hurt so much. "I feel so useless..." He murmured with a frown, watching Ren's fingers move. "I'll never wield my guns again..."
"You will." Ren stated, looking up at the other male seriously. "I've never known you to give up on anything. It wouldn't surprise me if you learned to shoot with your toes." Rai smiled slightly, shaking his head.
"That would just be wierd..." But Ren was right. Rai didn't like giving up so easily; it was the one reason he was still alive. He had never had to deal with such an injury in any of his lives, though. His hand had always functioned in the past. This was a first, and it was rather frustrating...
The boy sighed once more. "You'll get it." Red said quietly, pressing those fingers against his lips in tender kisses. "Just give it some time."
"But who knows when those demons will attack again? If they do, I won't be able to help fight."
"I wouldn't let you fight anyway." Ren stated. "I don't want this happening again." Rai smiled almost sadly. Ren was still beating himself up about it. Rai knew it had been Tryn's plan, and that he was the one responsible for the incident. But he couldn't convince Ren of that.
"I wouldn't let it happen again." The blonde insisted. "I would be more careful, and I definitely wouldn't let a demon kidnap me again." With a smile, he laid his head against Ren's shoulder, the other male having taken a seat on the bed.
Ren continued the task of massaging Rai's hands and wrists, making sure not to hurt him too much with the ministrations. Normally, Rai's biggest concern would probably be his chest, or his stomach (he was a hungry little boy). It wasn't everyday that you lived through a sword to the ribcage. But he was more worried about his hand; without them, he couldn't fight. He wouldn't be able to do his part in saving the world. He wouldn't be able to protect his friends. He couldn't protect Ren, the one person he would sooner die for than see hurt like this.
Rai forced himself to flex his fingers carefully, the thought of protecting Ren setting his normally indestructable determination. Maybe he wouldn't be able to hold a gun today or tomorrow, but he would soon. What was he if he couldn't protect who he cared about because of a little pessimism? He was a member of the Seven chosen to save the world from demons. If he couldn't do that because of a small injry and doubt, what right did he have to live and fight at all?
A smile spread over Rai's face and he looked up at Ren. "Thanks." He whispered, carefully attempting to lace his fingers with Ren's, even just slightly. The green-haired male looked at him curiously from behind those dark glasses.
"For what?"
"For being here." Rai grinned his old grin, the one he'd always used to wear. "For pulling me through this. You have no idea how much you've done for me..."
"I haven't done anything." Despite the statement, the ghost of a smile passed over Ren's lips.
"You've done everything" Carefully, Rai pulled the other's hand up and to his lips, kissing the back tenderly. "You have no idea how much I need you for this." Those orange and blue mixed eyes slipped shut and a yawn left his lips. The medication that he had been forced to take was kicking in and he was starting to feel tired again. As much as he didn't want to, he had to sleep.
"You're drfiting on me." Ren whispered. Rai just smiled slightly with a nod. He felt hiself carefully laid down once more on the bed. Ren lay down beside him as he had a few times in the past week. Surrounded by those strong arms and comforting scent, Rai slowly drifted to a mildly peaceful sleep.
|Yes... cheese! but who cares? x3|
