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Another sappy message. Ignore it if you're tired of them. If not, go ahead and read on.

Context: I wrote this around the time we stopped talking. I just never posted it or gave it to you. Figured I was changing my mind so much and my emotions that this wouldn't really matter. Decided, after seeing it again, to post it down.

It's a simple message. One that doesn't try to take too much time, but can't convey so much without leading you on...

I want to say thank you. Not because I found someone new and replaced you, not because my life is 'easier' without you, not because anything obnoxious or rude... But because you showed me compassion. Because you showed me what true love is and what it really felt like to live life. How to enjoy each day, take actual care of myself, worry about what I said and do to others, make the effort to care for others, and have great dreams at night.

You gave me memories that will never fade from my mind and I don't think I'll ever forget any inch of you, ever. I'll never forget those promises we made of forever and how they've come and passed us. I'll never forget those drives in the night in your car, worried out of my mind that you could do anything to me... Trusting you more than I could have ever trusted anyone at my life. I'll never forget how you kissed me with your eyes closed, so confident I was the one you wanted...

And I just want to say sorry. I've apologized a s**t ton of times for the things I've done wrong... But there's been this one thing I haven't got a chance to say sorry about... All my life, I've been making mistakes and careless at it. Not caring what sort of damage I caused to myself and to those around. Yet... You, you wanted to be proud of me. You wanted to, with all of your effort, be proud of me and the things I did/I'd do. And all I did was give you disappointment over and over...

I couldn't begin to understand what sort of pain that must have caused you and... Maybe you loved me more than I could ever imagine you did...

I'm so sorry that you'd never have such a moment with me... God, I wish I could just have one moment in my life that I made you absolutely proud of me...

Let me clear one thing up: I won't stop loving you because I gave you the one thing I couldn't give any other female that came into my life... my soul. I gave you the worst about me and not enough of the best of me. I sold you dreams that I'd be better... I only wish I knew so I could have done everything differently.

I'll try and hide the shirt you gave me and the words you've wrote for me. I'll try to block you on everything so I can learn each day how to handle all this pain each day...

I want to wrap this all up in saying that I hope everything is going great in your life. I honestly and truthfully mean in with no sort of venom behind my words. I want you to be happy. And I think the greatest thing you've taught me is that no matter how hard I think the floors are... I can still find a way to fall through them. That nothing is permanent and to treasure everything for nothing is guaranteed.

Thank you, Silent. Thank you for everything.