This is actually a journal entry from Kagome on the fifth.
Sunday, December 5th, 2004
I'm slipping deeper into despair every day,
But I smile and my friends think I'm okay.
They think I'm so strong,
But what they don't see,
Is that everything gets to me.
I'm easy to upset,
I cry about everything,
But I turn away,
And hide the tears going down my cheeks.
I smile at them,
When inside I just want to break and cry,
Every day my emptiness grows,
I don't know how much longer I'll hold.
I'll get out of bed and get ready to leave,
While in my head, I cry and scream,
I get on the bus, walk into school,
And put on a smile, keeping everyone fooled.
If they're such good friends,
Why can't they see my pain?
Why don't they notice,
That I feel this way?
Shouldn't they see the sadness in my eyes?
Shouldn't they see I'm doing all I can not to cry?
I'm slipping deeper into despair every day,
But I smile and my friends think I'm okay.
My first class of the day always cheers me up,
I admit that laughing and playing around with Josh and Angel makes staying sad pretty tough,
But the sadness stays with me all day,
In the back of my mind, waiting for a chance to come out and play.
It pricks my soul with needles,
Making me inwardly cringe,
It troubles my mind every day,
Making me wish it would end.
All of this just makes me want to lock myself away from the world,
Listen to my hard rock music and cry in the cold.
But nobody knows,
They simply cannot see,
The toll that all of this stress,
Is taking on me.
I'm slipping deeper into despair every day,
But I smile and my friends think I'm okay.
Yep. Sounds like her, alright. When I read this, I honestly don't know what to say.
It sounds like her, but in some way, it also sounds like me, only there are some minor differences. And here it is... My version of the same poem.
I barely hang on to my sanity every day,
As misery and pain enters my mind for a visit to pay.
Everything I say usually comes out wrong,
I don't think anyone wants to be me,
Unless they want something bad to see.
I've grown up corrupt,
I'm pissed off about everything,
Yet I look away,
Fearing someone would see the darkness in my soul.
I sing Harry Chapin songs with my mother in the car,
Yet for some reason or another I despise her,
Sadness has a vicious grip on me,
Anger is second nature to me.
My family is a tattered mess; unable to make amends,
My future seems to filled with lots of twists and bends,
I hop on that "T" bus heading back home,
Wondering about what will become of me in days to come.
If I'm living such a good life, what is it that I'm missing?
Is there a hidden message that I'm not getting?
I barely hang on to my sanity every day,
As misery and pain enters my mind for a visit to pay.
Life in Free State High was a blast,
Yet good things doesn't always last,
Loneliness is my one and true friend,
While those around me are a conversation, from beginning to end.
My life has been through the wringer,
I'm an Ozzy Osbourne dead-ringer,
Only thing I'm missing is some form of dementia,
As well as some drugs of illegal nature.
Sarah is my only way out,
Yet the online wall keeps everything in doubt.
I can't take this crap anymore,
No more anger and no more mental war,
I have had it with it all,
She really is my answer to my question that is forever eternal.
I barely hang on to my sanity every day,
As misery and pain enters my mind for a visit to pay.
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