This heavy feeling in my chest. Disappointment weighing me down.
I dared to get my hopes up. I dared to think that there was a change.
I guess I was wrong.
I should stop trying to make myself feel better... or anyone else sometimes because it only ends up with me on the bottom yet again.
I miss stupid sentimental things. Cuddling, holding someone's hand, caressing someone's cheek, having someone that makes you smile in the end no matter how far they got you down in the first place, someone to make dinner plans with, someone to try and expose to new things... just being with someone without being afraid of what they'll do to you in the end.
Suddenly, I'm afraid of everyone. Afraid to give in even a little, even to someone that I know could help me.
It seems like this fluctuates for me. I'm fine and then I'm not. Fine. Not. It doesn't stop. It's my own fault for letting myself get convinced that some kind progress or change can really take place in someone or something.
Suddenly everying is falling down around me once again and I'm helpless to stop it.
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The light of a fading star, is what you were, is what you are
A journal for random things that go through my mind. May be troubles at home or just what I did last friday night. Also, you might find some poetry in here too...haven't decided yet...
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