Just found out today my best friend that died last month, died from an accidental drug overdose. I keep feeling like maybe, just maybe, there was something I could have done to prevent it. Idk how. Maybe just something as simple as trying harder to reach out to her, telling her I was there and I loved her. Somehow maybe I could have talked her out of doing drugs or getting back with the guy she was with, he was into hard drugs. Damn it, I kept up with her sister, why couldn't I have done that with her too? Yes, we had gotten distant but that didn't change the fact we missed each other or loved one another. I got so scared today that I was going to lose someone else. I had such a deja vu moment and I remember it was like in my dream before I found out either Claire or Britt died. I can't remember which. My dreams have come true before, so I'm praying so hard this one doesn't!!
I was talking to a mutual friend a while ago, he does drugs and was talking so down about himself and so depressed. I just got a flash of losing him the same way. He's just a friend. I got scared though, I didn't want to lose him too. I tried to encourage him but I think he took it the wrong way because he never replied. Now, I'm just like how the freak to do you encourage someone without it being mistaken for hitting on him? I really hope that's not what he thinks. Here, his good friend died and I'm trying to talk him through a tough situation and then, possibly, that... Ugh.
Today, I was talking to mom though, Idk what we were saying. It caught me so off guard. Unconsciously, I was like, "Ash and Britt?" I was talking about Ash, in the present , but I unconsciously said, "Ash and Britt" as if she were still alive. It took me a minute to regroup because of how much it shocked me that I said that.
I was talking to a mutual friend a while ago, he does drugs and was talking so down about himself and so depressed. I just got a flash of losing him the same way. He's just a friend. I got scared though, I didn't want to lose him too. I tried to encourage him but I think he took it the wrong way because he never replied. Now, I'm just like how the freak to do you encourage someone without it being mistaken for hitting on him? I really hope that's not what he thinks. Here, his good friend died and I'm trying to talk him through a tough situation and then, possibly, that... Ugh.
Today, I was talking to mom though, Idk what we were saying. It caught me so off guard. Unconsciously, I was like, "Ash and Britt?" I was talking about Ash, in the present , but I unconsciously said, "Ash and Britt" as if she were still alive. It took me a minute to regroup because of how much it shocked me that I said that.
