It's odd to actually come back years later and reread messages between friends I had over ten years ago and how life has evolved so much.
I read my old journal enteries from being 12-15 and how those problems were everything in life and I always felt like everything in my life was crushing so much over things that didn't matter.
I lost one of the first friends / online boyfriends I'd ever had on this site to suicide and it bothers me daily how much we did not even know what life was yet or the right prospective on it.
I'm 27 now, and I know I'm still young but I've also been through 2 marriages and have been trying to have a family of my own with no progress, I've been through two professions and a drug addiction.
I'm an intern at a preschool to become a preschool teacher and today I'm grateful for the people I have in my life have no reason to not work on myself the best I can and I don't allow drama in my life.
Makes me think constantly of how it's our mindset that sets the mood of your life and how you handle it.
I have absolutely nothing but love and support in my life and these old journal enteries on here are beyond depressing and poor me.
I had no want to help myself and feel like I was definitely doing the opposite of what I needed at the time.
I have over a year off of hard drugs and have drank once in 10 months.
But I lost my last real relationship because of his want for a child and our toxicity to each other and then I just lost the best thing I've had yet, healthy and communicative because of my want for a child.
I don't feel like journaling on paper and this is the next closest thing. I'm not sure how I'm feeling or how I'm suppose to handle a break up that was instant closure over the fact it was neither of our actions that caused the separation he knows how important a pregnancy and one child is to me, and he knows he's done having children and there will never be a middle ground to that.
I didn't even breathe and I have a good friend of mine in my bed and it's even more comforting.
I'm not sure where life if going right now but I'm trying to be grateful and keep doing the next right thing.
I read my old journal enteries from being 12-15 and how those problems were everything in life and I always felt like everything in my life was crushing so much over things that didn't matter.
I lost one of the first friends / online boyfriends I'd ever had on this site to suicide and it bothers me daily how much we did not even know what life was yet or the right prospective on it.
I'm 27 now, and I know I'm still young but I've also been through 2 marriages and have been trying to have a family of my own with no progress, I've been through two professions and a drug addiction.
I'm an intern at a preschool to become a preschool teacher and today I'm grateful for the people I have in my life have no reason to not work on myself the best I can and I don't allow drama in my life.
Makes me think constantly of how it's our mindset that sets the mood of your life and how you handle it.
I have absolutely nothing but love and support in my life and these old journal enteries on here are beyond depressing and poor me.
I had no want to help myself and feel like I was definitely doing the opposite of what I needed at the time.
I have over a year off of hard drugs and have drank once in 10 months.
But I lost my last real relationship because of his want for a child and our toxicity to each other and then I just lost the best thing I've had yet, healthy and communicative because of my want for a child.
I don't feel like journaling on paper and this is the next closest thing. I'm not sure how I'm feeling or how I'm suppose to handle a break up that was instant closure over the fact it was neither of our actions that caused the separation he knows how important a pregnancy and one child is to me, and he knows he's done having children and there will never be a middle ground to that.
I didn't even breathe and I have a good friend of mine in my bed and it's even more comforting.
I'm not sure where life if going right now but I'm trying to be grateful and keep doing the next right thing.
