|
Confesion
I fell very depressed today if you couldn't tell by my eariler entries I made today. I just feel very low. My brothers are constsntly mean to me and shout at me every time they pass me. And my dad always tell me I am in the wrong when I tell my brothers to do something. I feel like I can't do anything right, I feel worthless. But most of all I feel hallow. I guess I might still feel depressed about being betrayed by my ex. I never really cried or anything I just did nothing. He lied to me so many times. He was my first bf and he betrayed me. I just feel numb thinking about it. I feel foolish that I trusted him even though his brother told me he was cheating on me. I asked my bf and he told me he would never do something like that too me. All the false claims that he loved me. All the lies he told me. He did not even tell me his real name. I get no respect or trust from any of the men I know. My best friend Alex is a good guy. But I really wish he would listen to me and stop doing things I ask him to. But he does not listen and he thinks it's funny but I feel very badly about it. I have a declining hope that I will find a man who I can trust completly and him me. I may act like everything is okay on the outside but my heart is breaking on the inside and my mind is growing darker. And I am loosing my hope for this world. I am not going to commit suicide or anything. I guess I will have to find why my heart is so heavy.
|
