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I don`t feel well at all...I want to die again...I...I hate myself and my whole life...nothing is as it should be, mom took half my paycheck, claiming I can`t do the every other week thing, cause she,"Needs the money". Well, when I move, I feel very sorry for her, NOT.

I wanted to buy myself some new HD boots today, as a sort of pick me up after all the stress I`ve endured, guess who can`t go shopping now? Me. I need new boots because my old ones are falling apart, it`s not going to be that much longer until the heel rips off now, and I can`t buy new ones, because of mom...thanks mom...I hate you so much!

Jessica was supposed to be at dad`s tonight and until Sunday, she bitched and complained her way out of that, lovely hm? I`m stuck with the little s**t again that means, well guess what? She`s not staying in this room as late as she wants, I`ll go ballistic and go downstairs and get my metal bat and beat her skull in, I want a break, I deal with the little s**t more than mom does! I`M NOT HER PARENT!

I might get off the internet...so I can drink something from under the sink, or swallow an entire bottle of pills, I want to die, I want to make it all go away...