I'm so heartbroken! Everything is falling apart! my best friend makes me mad, I have one stalker, two sexual harassers, one guy who just hates me, a rumor going around that I'm pregnant, school problems, my cousin has a brain tumor, my Aunt Dorothy is dying of the same condition I have now (she has it worse), my friend's dad was recovering of prostate cancer and he just died, my other friend might be pregnant (her BF broke up with her), my dog has an infection, and a million other things I can't think of at the moment. Not only is all that happening, but to top the cake my boyfriend, Ian, is going to war in Japan and he just broke up with me in case he doesn't come back!
The worst part is, is the timing. You see, I told my friends on my friend’s list not to message me November 12. The reason? The short version is, is that was the day my ex boyfriend raped me. And I got pregnant. Even worse part? I accidentally fell down the stairs December 20 and the baby died.
I’m slowly beginning to hate the Christmas season. Christmas used to make me child like and happy no matter what. I loved Christmas. Now, with all this going on, I just feel like giving up. “Nothing endures; not a tree, not love, not even a death by violence.” My heart is torn, shattered, chewed up and spit out. As I have said, there is no tourniquet in the would that can stop the bleeding of a heart. I know this all to well.
There are only a few things I want for Christmas. Just these few, and my world would be better. I probably will never get them, but this is all I could ever want:
A picture of my biological father
A phone call from my best friend
A Coco Kitty
Love (preferably my now ex-boyfriend)
The resolution of the war
A hug
Laughter
And most of all:
A song in my heart
I will go now. If any of you actually read this, tell me what you think. Perhaps muse a little. I just needed somewhere to vent, and the best way for me is song and verse. If you have questions, ask them. Hold on to the glitters of hope, they are the only things that make life worth living
~ Best of Luck, Lilly
blacklilly5150 Community Member 
|
|
