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As I lie I'm my depression things seem to happen in which I do not wish to happen, so I ignore them. And with this they vanish, as they vanish I become distant. Oh so very distant. It’s not cold but it is dark, I can feel my breath as I breathe in and out. I think, wow it is snowing and snow is on the ground and it’s not cold this is weird. Now I look around and there is no color. I laugh and believe it is a dream, and I try to take control to wake up. I can not see anything I want so I keep walking. I think I’m in control. Then I see demons coming up, and surprise these things are in color. I feel so heavy, and then I feel someone touch my shoulder I spin around to see who it is. No one. Then the demons see I and I feel more weight on my side and back, as though something is strapped on to them, I find a katana with two ten tens and a misiou. Ha I fight these things I have to be insane, but there are so many and I have to. So I unsheathe my katana and take a double handed defensive stance. Then I calmly make one stroke at them and they cut like smoke....these are just illusions. So then I sheath my blade and continue walking trying to find out where I am....I am on a road that looks like I’m in some wooded area. Its starting to snow harder, I can see but five maybe six feet in front of me. I see a shadow, I feel so sad now and I can not explain it. I feel like crying out loud and being held like a child. now...I kneel down and find I’m in old clothing much like a extremely baggy pants and shirt tied together...and then the figure comes and kneels down I cover my head and start to cry uncontrollably and then they embrace me and I feel warmth and love and I stand up with them and I wipe my eyes and look to see them and they too are gone like smoke, I’m so alone it hurts to understand it.

(more tomorrow i feel like writeing a full page of this now but i cant it will be wasteful and hard to read)