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So today was going fine, up until mid 1st block. Then we had to do a group project with the 5 people sitting around us. I figured it'd be ok, since they were all people who I knew and could talk to. Yeah, uh-huh. So James Morgan is in that group, right? He sat next to in our own row in the WAY back of the Civics room for a while. We talked enough, so it was pleasant. But today, he had changed his mindset. So had Jan, sitting next to him. I figure she was just out of it. I never really liked Henry. Carissa is pretty nice, so she was only one who I could really talk to. James was really mean, in the sense that he used to be mean to me. Jan was spaced out the whole time, so big help. Carissa hates James, so she was really quiet. That made it so easy for me to speak out.

Then, in Japanese, we were playing serades. It was my turn, and I picked out, "Eating Sushi." So, I pretended to be eating something, and they call called out "Tabemasu!" I nodded my head. Then, I drew a blank. I sat there for 40 of my other 60 seconds, with a desperate look on my face. "Show how they make it!" sensei call out. "I don't know HOW they make it!" I cried in desperation. For another 5 seconds I just sat there. Finally, I remembered seeing sushi being made on MTV's Boiling Points. I pretended to be rolling something, After sever guesses they had already made, Conner finally yelled out "Osushio tabemasu!" "Yes!!" I had said it so happily. "No! No! Hah! You ran out of time!" The other team called out. If I had gotten that one point, I could have saved my team, and put them into a tie. But, because of me, we lost. I profusely apologized.

7th Block, we had to get into groups of 4 - 8 people. 4 of my friends and I all got together. "Ok, us plus Eileen, that’s 6 people, that sounds good!" Rachel planned. But when Oblingers class filed in to join with us, 3 people who were only friends with ONE person in the group came in. There was no space for Eileen. We were supposed to make up our own dance, using all of the dances we had learned before. They created the whole dance, and I hadn't noticed. They were all doing it, and I was so confused. But, that was the only time we all tried to practice together. Margarita (one of the three that joined without our permission) would quit goofing off. It was ANNOYING! She wouldn’t stop trying to make up her own dance. Our dance, on top of all that, was terrible. We just each of the dances we'd learned, all in a row. That was it. I couldn't even speak out, when I did, they peer pressured me. It didn't work in the way they'd anticipated. I only backed off, because they weren't worth arguing with. That's saying something. Then the guys across the room had the incredible dance routine going on. All the girls around me pouted and started to complain about how bad our dance was. Finally, I'd had it. I started to yell at the three around me, "If you think it's so bad, then why don't you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Make it better, make revisions! Those guys are no better then us, they are just working harder. Our group is cut IN HALF. Half of us are always goofing off! You want a better dance DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!" They'd only gotten one good thing out of my monologue. "Yeah, thanks Emily, that's a great idea! Let's split the group in two!" I was furious at this point. Why would no one listen to me? "That’s NOT what I said Rachel, I said that it is BAD that our group was cut in half. We need to reunite it!" again, I was ignored, "You know I'm going to make my won at home! I'll memorize it, and bring it in, and see how it works." As we were walking into the locker room, I involuntarily whispered to myself "She's not going to do it." I didn't know why I just said that. I didn't even think before I did. It just came out. Usually whenever I say those things, they are right. Unless she's reading this, then she might feel compelled to do it.

At home, I fell asleep. I woke up at about 7 PM. My parents were eating dinner. I ate a little. Then at about 7:30, I remembered how I had been wanting to go to the bookstore for the past few days. I asked my mom if it was too late. She said yes. I asked her if she could plan something for tomorrow. A definite. SO that she WOULD take me. Not a 'I'll see what I can do,' or a 'well, as long as you do this,' no. A definite. She said, "well, if I get home early enough, I'll see if I have little enough school work, ok?" That infuriated me. I was less important than her schoolwork? My parents are terrible at hiding their feelings about me. So is everyone else. くそ。。。　わｔしのかぞくはばかですよ！！