I am a bit of an insomniac, but that isn't my problem.
My problem, is knowledge. I don't know too much, and I don't know too little.
But what I do know, is that I yearn for it. I seek it out at all costs. And when I find it, my mind is uncontrollable. I see things I would never see before, envision places unheard of, fight battles beyond imagination and all within the realm of my mind.
Recently, my mind has broken its bounds and set off, unstoppable and uncontrollable.
I was feeling a wave of insomnia. Unable to sleep this night and unable to find anything better to do, so I did what I always do. I watch.
Normally, I watch movies until my mind grows weary and I drift into slumber, but not this night. This night, is when my conscious left me and become one with the infinite.
I had recently become infatuated with the musical Moulin Rouge and, while only spending my time listening to the wonderful music, I had yet to find a copy of the movie to watch. That is where one of my greatest tools came into play.
www.youtube.com
I could not stop myself. Faster then my mind could comprehend, I began punching in the keys to search for part one of the movie. An Enter key later, a small list appeared and I chose the only one.
From there, my mind launched itself into a foray of imagination and creativity. I could picture myself within the movie, being there when needed and seeing the ending work out to a grander design, but imagination is imagination and no amount of it could change the already released movie.
I fought with myself, telling my head that I would go to sleep after the part was over but no, I pressed on. My mind seeking for more, wanting to know the answer; I was a slave to my own mind and its powerful driving force of imagination. I kept going onwards.
Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, one after one after one. I watched and I heard and all the while my brain was running rampant. I was unable to stop it and I began to wonder why should I stop it?
Even if I resisted, I must see the ending. I have to see how the story unfolds. Does the penny-less writer end up with the courtesan or does fate play it's dark hand? I watched and I heard and I waited, helpless and the story moved beyond my control...oh how I wanted to feel the world in my hand, grace the two lovers with light and see the ending end in sunshine...but all for not.
The movie ended, I could feel my mind race, unable to stop it, knowing sleep would claim me soon, either now or later. My fingers dance across the keyboard as I wright this. I have to let out some energy. I have to stop myself before I am unable to return to sleep and bring myself energy for the coming day.
And now, my eyes grow heavy and my fingers lose their nimble grace...I am falling asleep. I end my message here with a final word:
"If the mind wishes for knowledge, wait until tomorrow."
PS: No little "Mood" or "Listening to" thing up at the top. I found that thing to be a bit troublesome anyway.
PSS: This Journal Entry has been narrated by Ewan McGregor, because his voice is the only once that seems to narrate it best. A fun little trick that is, just hearing a bit of a voice and in my head I can make it say whatever I want. But that's for another time. wink
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The Door to the Mind
My sacred space to post whatever I want. Rants, dreams, experiences and anything else that comes to mind.
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