I wake up
get dressed rush to school.... and get late
Same crap day after day
go to school get yelled at 5 million times
get pushed around by people and in there own ways
Mom and Dad over stupid things
Both leave for the night
Sister , Always in her room on the computer and don't care for anyone
Brother , Always mean
I feel lefted out
Like no one cares
I feel selfish for being so greedy
I never thought anyone was like me
Many people go through Pain...
Pain is what people live for
Pain is not fare
but who ever said life was fare
My eyes have never been open
Always closed...
Blocking out the world around me
So i can't get hurt
So all i see is darkness
Life is not a game.... Its a fighting chance to live for what you love
I've learned this the hard way
And never want to do it again
But what I didn't know
I Was The Reson For My Pain.
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Get up
Get Dressed
Rush to school
Get yelled at and pushed around
Go home
Thats all I did every day
But something happen
A Guy , So Sweet
I Have Met
His Name is Lloyd
He Was The Sweetist Guy I Ever met
And He Told Me That If I ever needed some one to talk to go to him
So I Did
And I Have been Happy for once
But that all changed soon....
One day I moved here to North Carolina
I got a call from Him... Telling me That He Was going to End His Life
This brought Me to my knees crying
I asked him Why?
All He said Was Good-Bye
And I sat there and listen to him pull back his gun.....
And pull the trigger
Next thing i heard was the Beepping off a hung up phone....
I sat there is a puddle of tears.....
I will never forget Lloyd I loved Him so much
And He killed himself Just because Of me
I will never forgive myself for a horrable thing I need to that Boy
I am A horrable "THING"
I Dont deserve any one All I do is hurt....
I Don't deserve to live a day without this man in my life
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I barely sleep each night...
I stay up thinking these same qustions and never finding the answer
How could I do such a horrable thing to a guy I loved?
How could A creture like myself Be so free?
How Could I make it up to him?
Why Is Life worth living?
What Would happen If I never existed?
I deserve Nothing But Death.
Pain.
Darkness.
Hurt.
Guilt.
Sadness.
Death. -Piper
prettyhalogirl Community Member 
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