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ASK YOURSELF in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity..." - Rainer Maria Rilke
ahhh! i'm sick of randi asking. so here you go. everything that goes through my head.
ack. whatever. in school: book. lunch: book, though half of you guys. just observing, reavaluating motions. to try and see through the facades and find out if someone's pissed or sad. i can usually tell. in class: i listen mostly to teachers, but whenever they give time to work on homework, i'm typing book the stuff i can remember....
yeah. if i seem distant or pissed off for no apparent reason it's because i'm trying to remember a page or so of writing i should do... it comes to me in pages, and usually when there are no laptops or spare pieces of paper. bus ride to/from: is reserved for mentally editing pieces of writing and thinking of a person's speech. it's so important, and depends on their personality. but i could also be brooding over jenny's daily stupidness. ninja uhh... then home: there's not really time to think. i just try to remember and copy down. the thinking only comes at around eleven, when everyone falls asleep and i bring out the homework.
ummm... car rides: it depends. sometimes i don't think at all, just clear my head, and gaze out the window for hours at a time. i don't move, either. it's my special super freakish talent. but we all have one, don't we? then any other time... about anything, i guess. it's hard to remember it all. but i can tune things out as well. i have no dreams, but once or twice a month, on a rare occasion, i get a nightmare. i forget it as soon as i open my eyes, but it shakes me up for an hour or so. then i'm fine. i can tune out autumn's voice better, and grace's and kristi's. i hate the simple-mindedness of their comments. it frustrates me. and of course, when i really need to, the drone of a teacher is easy to forget. then my mind wanders as she's reviewing a test or something....
of course, out of courtesy and the fact that i'll skip over something that will futurely be important, i almost always listen to you guys. heart
that's it. woo-hoo. the inner workings of my head. happy? confused

p.s. i found that this trimester, i was the only one to get an a+ in la. i really do like the subject, no matter what anyone says, because i always seem to get better by the end of the year. i need more than just reading books. it's too bad 9th graders can't get in higher than just the academic level..... i would have really loved a 10th or 11th grade class, even if writing a paper took the whole day. i want more exposure.
xp






User Comments: [7] [add]
Dexaa
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commentCommented on: Wed Apr 04, 2007 @ 01:52am
i like your mind. it's very deep and complex. original too. i hate my mind because it's lacks the ability to think differently than others. i'm very un-unique. just think about how many people there are out there that think and act just like me. it's rather frustrating... i wish i could be different but i choose to follow the crowd other than possibly getting myself into more trouble than i can handle. i wish i had a mind like yours. so blank (not in the bad way) and full of possiblitys, ideas, solutions... very good indeed.
yeah i really can't stand listening to those stupid conversations that people like lindsey, and grace and others... have with eachother, it drives me crazy. and they think we don't have lives. at least we have brains! gosh!

yes dear meghan, you are very smart and unique and i admire you for that. i'm glad you make the most out of your mind in school, i don't sadly... oh well, make the most of the things you can


commentCommented on: Wed Apr 04, 2007 @ 02:21am
hehe. thanks, jordan. xp but what's the use of a deep mind of i do nothing with it. i go with the flow, doing things even if i hate them or don't have the time. just so i don't stick out in people's eyes. i'm so terribly shy that way... it's pathetic. that's the part of me that i hate, the part that i wish would just go and die in some hole. you may think that your mind is un-unique, but it isn't. i like listening to you. we all just belittle and hate certain parts of ourself. sometimes all of it.



bushy_haired_freak
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Dexaa
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commentCommented on: Wed Apr 04, 2007 @ 02:51am
well you certainly use your mind to write your stories and get amazing grades. thats always good. some people are just so shallow that they won't even try to listen to a complex brain like yours. shyness is something you have to over come, express your thoughts in ways you didn't think possible, people will listen.
thank you, but no one should hate everything about themselves. i don't think there are that many people in this world who do luckily. i feel bad for the people who are that bad off... i really do hate parts of my personality, mostly my train of thought, but it's just something i have to over come. like shyness


commentCommented on: Wed Apr 04, 2007 @ 02:53am
1st of all: the ONLY person? meaning you beat david brann in la?? sounds too good to be true!
2ndly: megsy's right, mchomey. i've never met anyone like you! i've met so many gennys and kates and mariahs and lindseys in my life, but i don't know one person that was like you at all. that's how i select my friends mrgreen well, not intentionally. but yinz are all so unique, and i don't think you could just go to a random gathering and just FIND another one of you guys there. i'm so happy that i met ya, jordan, so don't try to obsess over the inperfections...believe me, it gets you nowhere except into depression.



Weaselletta
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Dexaa
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commentCommented on: Wed Apr 04, 2007 @ 03:03am
*sigh* well thank you valerie, it made me feel fuzzy inside 4laugh
and depression leads so nowhere... sadly
yes, we are all pretty unique lol and not nessicarily in a bad way, just different. i can't explain it, i get stuck on bad thoughts and then i lose track of the other good half of the story.


commentCommented on: Wed Apr 04, 2007 @ 03:14am
i understand, mcH. but who wants to get hung up on the good things? it's the things that kick us until we fall that are our reoccuring nightmares, not the good times. but we all my hold hands and yodel together until are screeching is one!!

...*ahem*...i hope you realize that yodelling part was sarcasm...so...ya...



Weaselletta
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bushy_haired_freak
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commentCommented on: Wed Apr 04, 2007 @ 03:18am
whatever..... i wouldn't yodel with you anyways.... stare

hehe. jk. but not really. xp


User Comments: [7] [add]
 
 
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