This is my last resort. I can't think of a creative way to release this energy, so I'm just going to let it all out.
I have 4 problems I'm faced with right now.
1. I keep waiting for you to turn into this.. horrible person. I feel like I'm waiting for you to just become the reflection of my pain. I'm scared to admit the truth, which is that I love you AND I trust you. Just leave me now if you're going to be like all the others. Abandon me now and leave me for what other options you have. I can gaurentee they are far better than the ones I can offer you. Being with someone like me is like living with a cancer... I just become more of a problem the more time you spend with me. So please, give me the radiation now before I kill you...
2. I HATE YOU ALL. WHAT DID I EVER DO BESIDES BE THE BEST FRIEND I COULD ******** BE?! I HOPE YOU ALL ******** CHOKE ON THAT FALSE HAPPINESS YOU SHOVE DOWN EACH OTHER'S THROATS, THEN WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE THE SICKNESS WITHIN YOU... YOU REGURGITATE TO THE POINT AT WHICH YOU CAN ONLY SPIT UP BLOOD. DEVOUR YOUR OWN DESTRUCTION YOU PATHETIC FOOLS. I AM DIFFERENT FROM ALL OF YOU. I RESPECT YOU ALL ENOUGH NOT TO MAKE STUPID ******** RUMORS UP ABOUT YOU ALL TO THE POINT WHERE YOUR PARENTS ARE PULLING YOU OUT OF THE ******** SCHOOL. THANK YOU FOR RUINING MY LIFE, YOU ******** DISGUSTING WASTES OF LIVING MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. Ever since I was little you pushed me to be my very best, and when I wasn't you yelled. Now I yell back, and now you say I am nothing but a problem. That you can't wait to get rid of me. Is that why you like those two dogs? Because they can't talk back? Because they give unconditional affection even if you were to scream and kick them every day? Well I'm sorry for not having the sense of a canine. I am sorry that I refuse to be your DOG. Most days its all I can do to wake up in the morning and NOT drive my car off I-10. Even when I try my hardest... Even when I almost kill myself trying... It's never enough.................
4. Sometimes all I want is to hear your voice again... To feel your arms embrace me. To feel your skin against mine. Just to be able to look into your eyes again would settle all my fears and stress. I will never be forgiven for what I have done... I have admitted this.... So why do you continue to haunt me so?
 Alucarda Incarnate · Wed Apr 18, 2007 @ 05:45am · 0 Comments |
