so this is how it went. I went to hang with some friends on Friday. the Scholarship show was awsome, i got to see a lot of people and see their accomplishments. it was great. i ended up staying at Daves's that night because there were plans for a bon fire the next night. i was excited. Travis and I went to see Hillary at her house, she was not home so we went to the school. Through Meebo, i found her on MSN and "stole" her away. she and us went back to her house so she could clean up. she told me how she had a date with kyle. this bothered me but i didnt show it. how could i? i am supposed to be supporting my friends and everything they want and what they do. even if i don't approve of it i still smiled and said "Go for it!" that night we were added company with Kyle and we went out to dinner after some fun at Hillies. when we got back to her place, Kate needed a friend. i was certain that Travis wouldnt have a problem driving Hilly. but turned out Kate wanted to just come to the house and then go to Ben's/ Matt's. Ben and Kate were dating. By this point i was hurting a lot from the pressence of Kyle. i thought i was stronger, but it turns out i was only suffering. the three of us went to Dave's and hung out. Dave did not approve of us drinking so we didn't. Travis and i went to the Park across the street. we talked about a lot of things. this made me really happy and i was relaxed. the sky was filled with stars and i felt at ease with Travis and we spent a long time there. when we went back i drank some alcohol because i was upset that we couldn't drink. i had a lot and offered some to Travis but he took none. for this i am happy because he drove later that night. we went back inside and i was happy with Travis, the others were not even there to me anymore so i did not need to think at all. i could just be happy and i was. mind you i was tippsy. but it didnt matter to me, because of my not caring. we went out for a coke run to the convinience store and when we came back Dave noticed we were all parked too close to a fire hydrant. we all had to move. Dave told Travis if he was close enough to spit on his car, he needed to move. Travis shrugged it off and said, "Sure, no problem, I am going to move it." But Dave spat on his car anyway. This was disrespectful and now that i look back on it, i wish everyone behaved differantly in that situation. Travis got upset and spat on him which was a total surprise to me and i am happy i did not see it happen because it would have been awquard. Travis stayed with me for a moment as the others went into the house. He told me he felt a lot of tension in the house between kyle, Dave and himself. he did not feel welcome there. i nodded understanding that he wouldn't feel that way. Dave was one of my best friends at the time and Kyle was my ex boyfirned. i had a feeling that there might be a situation that was unspoken. so i went in and got my stuff. Kyle pestered me with questions but i ignored him. now that i look back on it i really feel like i was mad at him for being so close with Hillary. Maybe i was mad at him for being there entirely. so Dave came out and asked me if Travis had had anything to drink. I told him no and gave him the finger in annoyance. i left and went out and sat on the driveway for a long time thinking. I was intoxicated and it was taking a long time to think about a lot of things at once, like i usually do. i could think about so many things all at once and figure out how to make the right choice because of it. my life was simple almost all the time but it was hard to think at that time. Travis came over and after a while i got into his car. i decided i needed to go back in and say i was sorry so i did. but i left with words in my head from kyle "I am with Hilly now and you are with Travis." for some reason it hurt more than anything when he had said that. a part of me detached from him and Dave there. I left with those words and we left. I cant remember if i cried or not. I dont't care if i did. I talked to Travis the whole ride down, i had a lot to say. when we got to my house i aked him if he would stay the night so i had someone there to comfort me if i happened to cry. he said he would. i tried the log cabin door, it would have been easier it it wasnt locked. we went in through the front door and went to the log cabin. Nugget was up and barking a little until i got to my room. we talked for a while, he looked at a lot of my stuff and then we finally slept. i had a good long sleep, i fell asleep at like 4am. when i woke there was a note for me to call mom and dad. by this point i noticed my computer disconnected. this was a bit of a worry for me, i was downloading stuff. Turned out my parents werent too happy with me having a guy over especially if they thought he was my boyfrined. they thought that i was once again breaking their house rules and what not. i understood how they might have said that but it seemed unfair. Travis had his own 2 cents to put in about their parenting skills. i agreed with him but i was certain nothing would change. he left a while after, i told him things i never even told kyle. this concerned me a little but i didn't care at the time. i turned on some music really loud and did the chores my mother asked of me and felt better by the end of the day. i crafted a very large fan for the con and here i am now, writing this. i needed to got this night out or i would go crazy. i did not want to rant about anything but i guess i did in a way. funny how that works out. well that was the night of April 28th 2007. i am happy i got most of that out.
 Adiiru · Mon Apr 30, 2007 @ 03:03am · 0 Comments |
