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ACK FLYING STINGING BUGS ON THE FREEWAYS!!

Ok so the strangest thing happened to me one morning on my way to the dentist. I got ambushed by a flock of flying stinging bugs on the freeway, one of which flew in my open window and impaled my chest and stung me.

About 30-40 of them splattered at once up and across my windshield and front grill at 75mph. Scared the living hell out of me.

THEN the intense and blinding ******** pain hit the center of my chest.

And then I remember, my ******** EPI PEN is still packed with my camping stuff from the past weekend. s**t! I hope it was not bees. I'm screwed if it's bees.

yea.. I am allergic to bees, thank god it wasn't bees, it was those black and yellow striped wasps and thank god ******** that impaled a*****e wasp died on impact at 75mph otherwise he'd have stung me multiple times and then I would have been ******** anyway.

Shithowdy.

I finally got off the freeway safely, thank the gods, then I Chuck Norris'd his a** (which was all that was left of him sticking out of my skin) and flung that broken off a** and stinger out the ******** window.

PWND! thats right. stupid wasps.

Thank god I am alive, but my chest still ******** hurts in that spot. Goddamn migrating wasp ********. I hope I killed the queen as they all went splat across my windscreen. Stupid lemming wasps. Sheesh.

ouch, ******** spot still hurts. Damn right sore. Yea, I iced it, I squeezed out the venom, and I put antibiotic stuff on it. It didn't spread, or welt much bigger than a penny. I am ok now. But that EPI PEN is now in my purse.

Weird how they were swarmed out of nowhere in the middle of the damn freeway.
Be wary when you drive with your windows open...

The other day while going through some old files, I found a notepad with some stories that I had written years ago. With my strange sense of humor and unmatched bizarre wit, I wrote some really off the wall ones. smile

Please to Enjoy:



Some days you wake up and its like a bad dream. The pain is unbearable; you just wish you could stay in bed. You yank the covers up tight to your chin wishing that it were really the weekend or that youve already called in sick. Then the alarm rings! That blasted shrill crow of an alarm, screaming at you to get your butt in gear.

Freezing cold now, out of that toasty warm heaven of a bed, you mutter filthy obscenities at the digital monster still wailing its baleful sound. All at once, reality strikes you, like a venomous viper through your reflection; and what a sad, terrible sight you are! No amount of check pinching or sucking in that quite obvious gut will make you look or feel any more human.

After a rush of unpleasantly cold water and a quick dash through the suds, you are now dripping icy trickles onto the bathroom rug. Oh BLAST for the need of a sweet room heater here to warm you up.

With your clothes still sticking to your back and your hair far from dry, and after slapping around a bit in the bathroom, you grab your shoes and coat, and head for the kitchen.

Now you think, the mornings complete, just crab a cup of hot java and I am on my WHAT!??!!? You didnt set the coffee?? Oh PERFECT! Well, after grabbing the keys, stubbing your toe and slamming the front door, you frantically head to the car hoping to beat the lines at the Java Hut. Well, sure enough, just as you pull up about fifteen other cars have just shot up in front of you.

Defeat accepted, you turn around and make your way across the busy town to the fateful place that tends to hold your life in balance with a small scrap of paper known as a paycheck. You turn onto a strangely deserted road and pull into the oddly empty parking lot and with that curious look you make your way to the front entrance. As you reach for the handle, you notice a small sign on the reception desk just inside the building. You reach for your glasses inside your pocket and in putting them on you peer inside the window. Slowly you begin making out the words Closed for Holidays

All of a sudden that blasted SHRILL wailing alarm sounds off and then you realize you dont work! Slamming the alarm off, you yank the covers back up to your chin with only the usual chores of the day facing you. Oh yea and there was just one more thing

Look for a job!!

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Comments are welcome smile


(All work here is copyright. No work may be reproduced or published without the authors expressed and written permission. Use of information and any content herein is forbidden unless express permission has been given in writing by Tanithrayne)

The keys are not in the ignition...how I wish they were...


So Friday went about like any other normal day. Woke up, thought about what to make for dinner before DH went off to work... Paid rent, paid the internet cable bill... came home and thought about going dancing that night. However we needed to get D some decent shoes to dance in that wouldn't stick to the dance floor. Well that took some time, and by the time we got back it was late and we didn't have time to go dancing. So we decided instead to go and walk around old town. Took the God-daughter with us too. DH wasn't feeling well, had called off work and decided to stay home, so it was Dar, D and I. Though there was a bit of trepidation and question from her 'rents as to where we were taking Dar, which I found strange, but to each his own I guess. The last words we left with were "in case anything goes wrong..." nice. jinx. Dammit...

So after some Cold Stone ice cream and a walk around the Paseo (a beautiful new open air mall.) we went back down to the parking garage and the car. D thought it would be funny to joke about the keys being left in the ignition. I rolled my eyes. Though I wasn't laughing when I could not find the ONLY SET OF CAR KEYS TO MY CAR. s**t. Double s**t. So we went upstairs, back to cold stone, to security, retraced our steps with NO LUCK. And no keys. Just the car key, the broken electronic lock thingy and a gold key ring with "Blessed Be" engraved on it. Yea, that was fun trying to explain "Blessed Be" to the security person. "Blessed Beer?" no. Be. Blessed. Be.

We had to call home. Got a ride back to the house. Left the car at the mall. To be dealt with in the morning. Jinx. in case anything goes wrong. Oh that just HAD to be said... dammit. s**t. and. double. s**t.

The next morning I got online to check for locksmiths in town. Contacted the first one listed. "Well do you have your car registration?" Yes. It's in the glove compartment LOCKED in the car to which I have only one key, which I LOST last night. Hello? duh. "Well, you should always have a copy of your registration, just get a copy and fax it over to us..." Ok, need car today, cannot contact DMV till Monday.. wtf? "Ok, and we need proof of insurance also." WHAT the...? You want a DNA sample and my first born as well? "CLICK" next.

Ok so 24 hour locksmith, had an appointment for noon. Dad drove D and I back to the Paseo. We waited... nothing. I called them... got put on hold for 10 minutes. "The guy that does automobiles got into a car accident, we can reschedule for tomorrow" Umm.. NO. I am here NOW, need my car today. DAMMIT. s**t. And. double. s**t. AGAIN!

So... back to security, still no sign of my lost keys. On to customer service for a yellow pages. Called numbers down the list. Oooh.. damn, answering machine... Oh yes, no? don't have suzuki key blanks. s**t. Next. "Yes, we can have someone out there within the hour" REALLY? GREAT! Uhh do you need anything from me? "Uh... no... we'll just come there and make the key. " yea.. well that other place wanted.. umm never mind. Within the hour? Cool.

So, they get there, after about 35-40 minutes, I have 2 newly ground keys from the back trunk lock. Only charged $95. 24 hour locksmith said $120 AND UP. So I gave them $120, for tip, and the cost of the parking garage fees. Both keys work. Should have made a third copy... oh well. No security auto lock gizmo though. Those are $150 from the dealer. Too much right now. So I have two new keys, and all is well. Got the car back before 4pm yesterday. DH goes to work that night only to be canceled when he got there. Dammit...s**t.. again. LOL

I still am scratching my head on the request for my registration and insurance. Who are those guys??? The DMV? The CHP??? The IRS??? Nope, just a bunch of locktards.

Strange day it was.