Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I don't remember when I wrote this, but I didn't quite like it...But I'll share it anyway. I don't even remember where it came from, is the bad part. It coulda been from a movie, or a book. I don't know...oh well. Enjoy.

My dear friend
Please forgive me
For what else could I have done?
I never knew of my own strength
Of what I was capable of.
I tried my hardest to ignore
The smiles and snickers
Sore. I couldn’t take my eyes away
From the beauty laid out for me.
I was tempted, I admit,
To join such beauty, dear.
But one image shot through me
Like lead the gun gave way.
Yet, even then,
With such feeling in me,
I could not resist.

My dear friend,
Please forgive me
For I paid it no mind.
I was wrong in my decision;
My decision of beauty, fair.
My looks: different;
My attitude: soft;
My mind: changed.
True, I am not the same,
But I am better.
You must believe this is so!
You above all else know
Of the me I now so refuse.

Do I disgust you so
That you barely take a glance?
Do I terrify you
To the point of complete isolation?
I meant not to hurt or scorn
The love for me you hold.
I merely wished to show you
How far I was willing to go.
You must admit
The murmurs heard
Were not of kindness or love.
You know as well as I do,
You care for what they think.

I merely wanted to show you
How far my love can reach.
How many people now
Wonder “how’d he get the girl?”
They no longer murmur
Or hide away their laughs
They have begun to smile on me
And my loving acts.
They even like to dote upon
The attributes they find dear.
Is it not a blessing that –

What was that?
“Were it not so different”…
What an odd request.
I know as well as you
You feel more comfortable
Surely you do.
This is what you wanted
…
Or maybe…
So I thought.

If this was what you wanted,
You wouldn’t have protested.

Right?