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simply put I'm feeling odd... more specifically I'm not feeling like myself, nor am I even feeling like I'm in the real world.

Let me start from the begining.

Last night I went to bed at around 10:00 and couldn't get to sleep, I closed my eyes and tried to relax but I felt like the very world was 'waving' or shifting and of course that made it hard to get to sleep.

I remember hearing my clock chime midnight and I remember staying up a long time after that (or so it felt) but I also remember having dreams (for some reason I owned a drum kit, past life perhaps?)

Then everything proceeded as normal for a while, our class had a field trip to catch a play (a boring one by Shakespeare if that means anything to you) and I sat next to a girl in my geography class, a relatively cute girl too... populor as well I guess, I never really paid too much attention to her before.

And it turns out that she shares alot of my interests and opinions (my taste in movies, plays DDR, likes monkey island etc...) and I was thinking thats pretty cool, but then it started getting weird.

She brought up that she needed to study for her theory exam. I figured that she meant in music so I asked and she said yes, I asked her if she was going for the bonus high school credit (Grade 7 music and grade 1 theory grant a grade 10 credit) and again she replies yes.

So I ask what instrument she plays and she says piano, same as me. And the creepy part is I have an exam too (grade 7 piano). And of course I never noticed this and she never brought this up before.

So she's sort of 'perfect' I guess, but of course human nature dictates that while we strive for perfection we fear also fear it.

So I'm a tad ... creeped out is the wrong word, I suppose disturbed would be closer maybe cautious, its hard to describe.

Anyways during the play is what really caused me to write this entry. I sat next to her and I was incredibly tired (from not getting much sleep yesterday I suppose) and I was nodding off, however I never really 'fell asleep' I knew what was going on through the whole play, yet everything took on a distinctly dreamlike persona.

Anyways I was nodding off and was leaning near/on the aformentioned girl and I remember feeling really happy and warm. Not happy as in ecstatic or perverted but happy as in happy, like a young child, I dunno it made me feel sort of like I was home, maybe accepted is the proper term.

After a while I 'woke up' but of course I had been awake the whole time. So I noticed that many of my quirks (I usually sit with one or both of my legs brought up on the tip of the chair causing my knees to face straight up) were gone and that I had an altogether different way of thinking.

I was also not nearly as tired as I felt earlier but I still yawned alot. I imagined (not for the first time mind you, I've had this theory for months, possibly even years) that I have two distinct personalities, one of which is the 'good' personality that is smart and well thought out, supposedly this side wanted to banish the evil side of me to achieve perfection.

My 'darker' side contains all my perverse thoughts and is always blunt and to the point, it doesn't like my 'good' side rationalizing and it always corrects or second guess' my 'good' side however we do get along occasionally, we are both intelligent and logical beings, one side just seems to be in denial or something.

Anyways my 'darker' side has occasionally unified with my 'good' side creating a sort of normal me, doing exactly as I should be with a balance and my 'good' side usually takes over if I'm not normal but today I think that my 'darker' side sort of took over, not as a proclomation of war or anything, just my 'good' side was really tired so it just sort of slept, occasionally one of my quirks (which I ascociate with my 'good' side btw) would come back and I forcibly told myself 'no' for some reason.

So since then I've had a blurred distinction between reality and dreams, everything seems off, I may be in love... or perhaps I've found an alternate version of myself (an early prototype? Maybe I'm the prototype?) maybe a soulmate/kindered spirit?

nothing really makes much sense anymore...