Whoever read the last journal entry that is linked below, I exaggerated my feelings, somewhat. But, that was becasue I was in a rage, almost. So, I don't hate them like I said i did, although I don't even know what to call my feelings for them anymore. Read this first.
And then watch this.
The only one who took you in
The only one who held your hand
Defended you against the others
Had your back on everything
Never let you down
You turned around betrayed your only brother
Forgetting me, you took things in your hands and left me out
After we’d been through so much, how could you let me down?
I didn’t know, I didn’t know
I couldn’t see, I couldn’t see
Never thought you’d forget me
Couldn’t believe, couldn’t believe
How you deceived, you deceived
I never thought you’d do that to me
I will never be like you
I’ll never do the things you do
Selfish and lonely, what’s your problem
Letting go of you and this
Is harder than I thought but I will not be poisoned by your actions
Am i gone now? Just the person you're forced to like, for fear of loosing your girlfriend? Wow, I'm not sure if this is worht it. i'm not sure if this is how I should feel. Maybe Gina's right. Maybe I DO think into things too much. But, hey, that's me, right?
Okay, you know what? I'll be Erik's 'friend'. We'll see how long it'll last. He gets sick of me quickly. Maybe he'll really try this time. But it hurts that he never tried for me. He'll only try for Khadijah.
Man, I want high school to start so I can find someone(actually, someones) new. I'm actually LOOKING FORWARD to making new friends. Maybe there will be more people who share teh same interests as me, think similarly to me, care aabout me like how my old friends didn't. [Only most of them apply to teh first two, not all. And only a few apply to the last one.] Maybe I'll meet Gaians? XD
ANd, me and Khadijah are best friends...still. It's goig to be tough, though. I can tell. She's going to have to have to choose between her best friend and her boyfriend at some points. And who would make her do this? Me.
"OMG! You're a horrible friend! I would never do that! "
Trust me. In my position, you would. In my mind, you would. In my life, you would. Don't judge me unless you know exactly how I am and how I think. And, trust me, you don't.
And, yeah. She said that she still thinks love sucks. Which ticks me off beyond belief. She has a boyfriend, and, otehr than me and the whole problem I cause, she's happily in love with him. What about how everyone who has been completely crushed or heart broken? THEY should think love sucks. Not her. Not Khadijah. She should be happy.
Should I think love sucks? You decide:
I fell in love, and was broken up with. I stayed friends with him, then we became enemies. THen, at teh peak of our hostility, my best friend and him got together, which has cause the problem of teh summer.
Compare teh two situations of me and Khadijah. Who should really think that?
Now, there's Sarah. I feel all weird and clingy and creepy by tlaking about her so much, but she deserves it. She deserves more. She deserves to be happy, more than anyone else i know, in my opinion. Man, I would do anythign i could to achieve that.
Then, I go and rant at her and even become somewhat hostile for her. I feel like a hypocrite.
Gahh, Too much information for my mind to handle right now. So, for the next two weeks, I'm going to only think about AnimeNExt, and being happy. Yeah, those are good things to think about.
No Erik thoughts, no Khadijah thoughts, no hatred of love thoughts, no anything like that thoughts.
AnimeNEXT, Sarah, and happiness. What else do I need? <333333
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