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Im worn out by the way I have been living for the past two weeks. Im sick of it all. Its like.....nothing is as it was and I was trying to drown myself in a world I have no business being in. I dont hate the people in it, its just not my kinda life, ya's know? Im not cut out to be doing this and that, Ive out grown that stage in my life, even though I never avtually went through it. Im just not that type of Gal anymore. I've realized I like the nice, slow pace of a life I have had, and you know....doing things as they come my way. I Hate Smoking and that smell is disgusting, no offence to anyone I know that smokes, IM just tired of that smell. I dont want to smell it everytime Im around people.
Also, Ive realized I hate being single now. I love Matt, I really do, so I'ma give him another chance with him and you know, just set some standards and guidlines this time. Maybe with him I can actually change my bad habits....and all that other stuff. I believe since I'm getting my own place and theres nothing really left for me to do, I should grow up and think about my future now. Meaning I have some serious things to reformat.
A) I have to take this upcoming School year (Fall of 2007) My all and succeed so I can transfer succefully in the fall of 2008.
B) Stop being so flimsy with peoples emotions and stop being so cruel. I want to be nicer and be more considerate of peoples feelings.
C) I'ma get another job, one that can actually support meh and the people I usually hang with, you know....my REAL Friends.
D) I have to stop hanging out with the people that give me all this HS drama-rama, I dont need it, and im sure you would agree, right? right.
E) and im totally gonna stop getting involved with people that I dont trust at all, I dont care If my BFF is head-over-heals over you. I dont want any issues, my life has to move on....
Also, I just wanted to rant on the fact that im tired of dealing with peoples tantrums. Im sorry im not yer mommy to quench whatever fancy you want fulfilled this time. I've dealt with a lot more than you have and I've learn that I can just drop you from my life. I dont care. I can be a heartless b***h and Im not afraid to fight my own battles, I dont care how strong my opponent is. Ill take them down however I can. Mentally, or Physically. Oh! and Believe me, I dont, and may I repeat, DONT want anything that is yours, i.e. Boyfriends, pets, your friends, or whatever else you think im after thats yours. If I wanted it, it would of already been mine, or I would of taken it from you. I dont wait. So you dont have to worry about anything. I may appear to be flirty and a bit out there, but please, dont confuse me for a Whore. I dont sleep around and Im not some slut you can get some to do anything you want with. Pah-lease, I have morals and rules for myself. I have my own standards and hey, I know how to take care of myself. If I tell you I love you, you will know it and please believe me when I do tell it to you. And if your reading this, Im sorry I let you down, but I cant just sit and be happy while someone else isnt. I have different views and ideals from other people, talk to me seriously and you will see what I mean....hmm, I think i shall post em on another blog....someother time...
Love's
Emis
heart Smile for me, Its the Most Beautiful thing you can Ever do.... 3nodding
 Talimsin · Thu Jul 12, 2007 @ 06:48pm · 0 Comments |
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