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I'd like to talk about fathers. I read not to long ago that one out of every ten Americans does not know who their father really is. While I don't know how true that statistic is, its phrasing is what struck me. Americans don't really know who their fathers are. While this is probably meant in a more literal context, I perceive in a slightly different manner.

I do know of the man who donate the sperm for my creation, he even lived in my house. For some time, I was forced to go to his home every other weekend. Now, from time to time I go visit him and his new family. One of the key details in my child hood that makes me the way I am is a lack of a true father figure, my 'dad' was never at home for very long and when he was he was usually yelling. I do not have a relationship with my father, he does not know me and I certainly do not know him.

I find this to be true with several of my friends. I cannot go into details for the sake of each of my friends privacy, but I listen to them speak of their fathers. I watch how they act in everyday life. The lack of a real, true father seems to be the cause of the great stress that exists within many of our lives. The influential presence of a father can both do great good or great harm to a child, and thus the adult they become.

Meanwhile, the utter lack of any father figure also has an effect of those child minds. Although it would seem to me that the lack of a father is better than the presence of a bad one.

But then there is that matter of a changing father, which many of today's children will likely be facing due to the War of Terrorism. Allow me to explain.

I am the middle child of three girls. That is, in my father's first family. As I said before, I do not believe I have ever really had a relationship with my father. If I did, I was too young to remember it. My older sister can remember my father being, well, fatherly when she was young. But when I got to that age when memories are being built, my father was in the military. The army sent him...off...and according to my mother and from what I've gathered from my sister, the man that came back was not the man who left. This happens in war and with the military, thus my concern for the young toddlers and children of today.

It has only been in the last year or so that my father has begun to attempt to be a father again. This is good for my younger, ten year old sister. I'm glad she will have a connection to him in some form or fashion. This is also good for his new child.

I, now nineteen and free of all financial ties to him, don't really care to meet him half way. It seems to late to start that father-daughter relationship. It is sadly, more like meeting a new uncle in many ways. But, it is normal within people to crave the attention of affection of their parents, thus I myself am slightly jealous of his farm animals. His bottle calves have gained more fatherly attention than I feel that I have.

....My point is, I am not the only one lacking the attention of their father. The majority of the people I know have a missing or neglecting, or abusive father. And the responses to the conditions of the nature or their relationships differ, some defend their dads, others feel resentment, some fear, some anger, some sadness, some choose to forget but it would seem all of us still crave fatherly attention. Still want to have a dad, are still jealous of those oh so wonderfully fictional families seen on television.

This is just as true with mothers, I could write an entire second entry on mothers, but the distance of a father seems so much greater than the distance of a mother.

These men, who bring us life also have a great affect on how we live and perceive that life. It would appear that many of them are unaware of the power they hold, and of the influence they have.