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From here on out, I suppose it's safe to say that the user The Seven Deadly Sins is not coming back to Gaia, for whatever reason.
So, I suppose that it's also safe to say that I am absolutely devastated. And depressed. And deflated. And other words beginning with 'de' which are bad.
I had a countdown going on my BT account; I don't know why, since it didn't make me feel any better, just made me want to cry. I still want to cry.
I just wish I knew what happened to him. I watched out for a whole year, just kept on hoping he'd come back like he did last summer. As pathetic as it might seem, that was probably one of the best days of my life. Just knowing that he was alive and safe and talking with me was enough to make me want to faint. When I make friends, the first thing I do is worry for them, every single day, all the time, especially if I have no way to talk to them. And he was gone for months. I thought he was dead.
But then, I found out he wasn't. And he said he'd come back. Promised he would be online more often once the school year started. Told me his computer got taken away, but that he bought himself a new one, and it would absolutely not be taken away. And that made me happy too.
He hasn't come back, that I know of. I'm guessing that he never will, for whatever reason. And I doubt that it was his fault that he never came back. But that doesn't change the fact that my heart hurts. And I want to cry.
My four closest friends, who are the best in the whole wide world, know that I kind of fell in love with him a little bit. I could give excuses for it (Such as, two of my roleplay characters were involved in a conspiracy orchestrated by Maiyo and Tori involving two of his roleplay characters), but I really don't know why it happened, exactly. It just happened. But I guess it doesn't matter much any more.
I'm sorry. I'm done being self-pitying and sad. I just needed to...talk to myself.
By the way, thank you, Maiyo, for showing me that song "Boats and Birds." I keep listening to it over and over again. That one, and "Leap Year" are perfect for how I'm feeling right now.
Now I'm really done burdening you all with my lamentations and mourning.
 xX_Kuroko_Xx · Sun Sep 09, 2007 @ 10:48pm · 1 Comments |
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