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I don't think I could possibly get any more depressed. My baby is gone..He went to his Daddies...No one to cuddle with tonight. Jon is just....He's so mean to me. I love him so ******** much, and does it matter? ******** NO. crying Why can't he see, or does he just not care? It ******** with me so bad when he said me figuring it out might help...All I do now is sit around and think about it...And who knows if he was telling the truth. I want to trust what he says...But will he just break my already broken heart by saying no? I've cried so much today. Lets try to think again I suppose. Just another useless attempt I'm sure.



That all I have for now. Does he know how absolutly wrong he is? Typing all of that just felt wrong to me. I hated typing it. Like I've said "I've tried falling out of love, but that would mean falling for someone else, and you're the only one I'll trip for.". *sigh* Why do I care so much? It seems like he's just messing with me. If he really cared, would he put me through this torment? I know he knows this is driving me crazy...But he doesn't care. It doesn't seem like he cares at all. I feel so stupid.....But I love him. Would I put up with this if it were anyone else? I just don't know what to do to get through to him. Maybe I should just stop trying. It seems like this is going no where. I wish it could be different...I'm going to bed. I can't stand to stay awake any longer. crying