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Staring out my window in despair, I couldn’t help but hate myself a little – and my parents. This was the first really bad thing that I’d done in my seventeen years of life and they were treating me like a criminal. I had gone to a party – one of which my parents had told me I wasn’t to go to – and, as I was usually a ‘good girl’, became a bit overwhelmed with the action around me and got a little too caught up in it. Someone had passed me a drink; I couldn’t find the words to refuse. That’s where it started.

I never considered myself a popular person, but I wasn’t walked on either. I had jet-black hair flowed past my shoulders, with bangs, and bright, emerald green eyes which were a surprising contrast against my pale complexion, free from flaws. I didn’t fail to notice that when I walked down the halls at school I didn’t go unnoticed – a slim, athletic figure was bound to go well noticed among the guys. Some girls were jealous of me. Why, I didn’t know, didn’t understand. Why people wanted to be popular was beyond me.

I had gone to the party my long-time friend, Samantha, who had been to a few parties of her own, and was significantly more experienced than I. I wasn’t really sure how to act, and was afraid to refuse much. I drank most of the drinks that were being placed into my hands, not being able to stop myself. After a while, any thoughts of refusal had vanished from my mind.

I guess it was sometime after midnight, I had been on my way back from the washroom when I ran into Tim, Samantha’s boyfriend. I smiled at him and went to walk past him when he took my arm gently. After gazing at him, a little surprise, I smiled and stepped back closer to him. Sitting in my room now I remembered that moment and what followed as though I was reliving it over again.

He squeezed my arm and smiled at me. “Having fun?” he had asked.

“I guess… it’s alright.” Actually, I hadn’t been having much fun. Samantha had ditched me, and apparently, her boyfriend.

“Oh? Just alright?” His smile widened and there was a sort of gleam to his eyes. Something in his voice and the look on his face told me he had been into someone’s stash at one point.

“What do you say we liven things up a bit?” I assumed he meant we would go and start something downstairs, cause a bit of damage. Naturally I turned to continue on my way down the stairs, expecting him to follow. His hand tightened on my arm, not allowing me to go anywhere.

Surprised, I turned back. He opened up the door to what appeared to be a spare bedroom and pulled me inside. Obviously, he had something else in mind. Something in side me didn’t resist. Maybe it was the alcohol - or maybe it was the small fact that I had secretly had a crush on Tim for a while, before Samantha and him had started going out, and she had knowingly stolen my chances of being with him when she asked him out - that made me follow him into the room.

As soon as the door shut behind us his lips met mine. The kiss started out soft, but eventually the kiss grew with intensity, his tongue finding its way into my now eager mouth. Still locked to each other, we made our way to the bed. I pulled myself away from him and he gently lay me down on the bed. Our eyes met and held each other’s gaze for a few moments before our kiss resumed. The scene began to heat up and –

I forced myself not to think about it. I couldn’t relive that moment; it was horrible. I’d betrayed Samantha in the worst of ways. What had possessed Tim to take me into that room in the first place was lost on me. However many times I had thought about it, I had never expected it to happen. Sure, we both may have been a little intoxicated, but I could have easily stopped myself, I was sure of it. Maybe Tim couldn’t… but whether he could stop himself or not was no reason for me doing what I’d done.

Sitting now in my room now I remembered emerging from that room to find people scrambling around, saying the cops were coming. Somehow I had managed to get away to Erin’s house. So far, no one was the wiser about what had happened in that room. After I had sobered up and was looking half-decently presentable, I returned home to an empty house, which I hadn’t been expecting. I’d showered and fell asleep on my bed, only to be woken about an hour later by angry parents.

“Where did you go last night?” Dad had asked, suspicion written all over his face.

I paused. “Like I told you… I went to Samantha’s for a bit then we went over to Erin’s for the night.” I looked down at my hands. Lying had never been my strong suit.

“Don’t lie to us, Alexis.” Mom said warningly. I looked up in surprise.

“I… I’m not.” I managed to stutter after a second.

“Why the hesitation then? Tell us now and tell us the truth, Alex. Did you go to the party?”

Busted. I bit my lip and shifted my eyes away from their angry glares. There was no escaping this one, they could read me like a book.

“Well? I don’t hear you denying it.” Dad continued.

Sighing. I prepared to be parted with my freedom for a while. No point in trying to deny it. I had a feeling they already knew anyway and were just trying to get a confession out of me.

“Yes. Okay, I went. I’m sorry but I’m tired of you treating my like a kid. I really wanted to go to that party.”

“It was broken up by the police, no?”

“Yes, Dad. It was but I was gone by then. Erin and I left shortly before that and went back to her place.” No reason to tell them everything, just going to the party was bad enough.

“And did you drink?”

Sighing again I rubbed my tired eyes. So this was a hangover. “Yes, Dad, I did a bit. Look you can’t shield me forever. I’m seventeen. Relax and let me live my life. I’m not going to make the same mistakes you did.” Immediately after I’d said it I knew I’d probably gone too far.

How right I was. My liberty vanished for a month.

I was halfway through my month of confinement, and my parents were watching me like a hawk. They didn’t let me near the computer; they had taken away my cell phone, and wouldn’t let me use the other one unless it was an emergency. Turns out there were only a few things they actually classified as an emergency. In addition to that, depression was closing in like a blanket. Even if I could talk to my best friend, I knew Samantha wouldn’t want to talk to me. What I had done to her was unforgivable in Samantha’s eyes and I knew that Sam knew what had happened – she’d dumped Tim. That part hadn’t been too hard for her to figure out.

To add on to that blanket of depression, my parents wanted to move. It wasn’t the idea of moving that made me miserable; I had wanted to move away before. Maybe it was because now they were looking at houses and had actually made an offer; maybe it was because it was actually going to happen this time that made my stomach churn. Maybe it was something else. Whatever it was certainly wasn’t right.

Time dragged on painfully slowly. I hadn’t spent this much time in the house for a long time. I wandered about the house one day when my parents had gone house hunting again. I had said I wasn’t feeling well, which was partially true anyway. They returned home later that night, looking happier then ever.

“Alexis, where are you? We want to tell you something.” Mom said cheerfully, setting down her bags.

Sauntering casually into the room, I tried to stifle a yawn. “Let me guess. You got a house?”

Dad grinned at me. “We did! Have you started packing yet?”

I was pretty sure he already knew the answer to that but I gave him the simple reply anyway.
“Nope.”

“Well while you’re grounded you might as well get started. We’ve got a lot to do. We get the house in a month, we plan to be in it by then, too.” I opened my mouth to say something then closed it again. Silently I turned and went back to my room, reluctantly grabbing a couple empty boxes on the way. Mom came and stopped by later.

“Alex, are you okay with this? I know your father and I should have asked you about this, but we think we’re better off moving and starting again. Business isn’t the same here for you dad.”

“I’m fine, mom. Really. By the way, even if you had asked me my opinion, I don’t think you would have listened anyway. I know you guys really want to move. If it’s for the best, then fine. Whatever makes you happy.” I turned away, unable to face her.

“Alexis -.” She started again.

“No, mom. Really, it’s fine.” I refused to let my voice shake, “I just want to be alone right now.” Without further word, mom just left me alone.

Exhaustion suddenly washed over me. I put away my boxes and got ready for bed, hardly able to keep standing. Falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, I slept a dream filled sleep.