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well i am jobless again. they fired me today. they said they had to many ppl working there. but they just hired another girl today stare so its not the truth....the truth is that i suck. im spacy and i cant talk to ppl. im never happy and so when i smile it is fake and ppl can see that. im to slow at cleaning. but thats just cause i was new...once i get used to all the places stuff goes in like boom with the cleaning.

i didnt fit in there. ppl at claires(workers and shoppers)...well at least what i have seen...they are either supper girly and happy or they are stuck up. also from what i've seen girls at claires are really pretty and hot and stuff. they are ppl who enjoy hip hop and stuff like high school musical...they arent the kind of ppl who are called "goth" i am none of what i just described as a "claires person" but i hate being like that...labeling ppl and such especially myself....but im just trying to explain why i wasn't like the ppl who usually come into that store....

i hated working there it is true. but now i have to do it all again. find a ******** job. when i told my rents i was fired they immediately wanted to know when i would be out looking for a new job...i told them not for a while. i hate....no i fear ppl. well i hate them too but i crave them and need them...i dont want to deal with them in a job again just yet. i need better ppl skills first...but im not sure how to be better with ppl...i dont want to be...i just cant!

im to ******** up...however the sad truth is that my family is poor and they (all who are of age to work) are even more ******** up then me and so i have to be the one to work...

someone please stop me from thinking! i....its never good when i am left to think for a long time. i get depressed when i think...that leads to me doing nothing but thinking and well...it just goes from there heh sweatdrop i dont want to be emo about this....its good i dont work there anymore cause i hated it. but me not having a job and me knowing its cause i did a bad job just leads me to think about things i dont want to think about....*sigh* im handling this so well hahaha