The main inspiration for this came around 11 at night, which seems to be when I get all my good ideas. Go figure. xDD
I was actually really surprised with how much I liked how this came out! Most of the time when I try to write something humorous it just ends up... nerdy. And non-humorous. Not to mention the fact that I'm hypercritical about everything I write...
But anyhoo, contest link is here.
Prompt 3
I am Teh Golden Eggu! Roleplay whatever scenario you see fit to portray your mad skillz and your amazing hum0r!
Her mother had always told her, Golden eggs that wiggle about like Mexican jumping beans with the hiccups are nothing but bad news.
Well, not really, but she should’ve known all the same. Right?
“Mroo?”
She’d been at this dinky little antique store checking out the stuff in the window display, okay? And all of a sudden this odd creature, all streamlined muscle and horns and – fins? – had come skidding helter-skelter around the corner and had an unfortunate collision with the tables and chairs of the café next door. There were people shouting, and bits of furnishings flying all over the place, a little girl with her ginormous stuffed frog – frogs certainly were amazing, weren’t they? – bawling at the top of her lungs…
And a little golden Easter egg with swirly markings had rolled out of the confusion to a halt when it gently bumped against her shoe.
So of course, Kaen had looked around to see if anyone was paying attention (most of the people in sight were, of course, otherwise occupied with gaping like loonies at the scene), then carefully picked it up and placed it in her purse and headed into the store. If she’d been able to whistle she would’ve been whistling innocently.
“Mrooooo?”
“Oh, just another of those Nieken causing trouble,” the guy behind the counter had said when she asked him what exactly it was that had caused all the brouhaha out there. “You must be new around here, huh? We get quite a lot of the buggers these days. Anyway, the books are over there, in the back.”
And she’d indeed briefly perused the books – despite her excitement she did end up buying one, or two, or four – before hurriedly heading back home, with a steady shaking and vibrating coming from her purse that was more than a bit worrying.
A few days later the thing had hatched.
“Meeeeeeeru?”
Speaking of which, it appeared to have found the box of costume fabrics she had picked up in some or other rubbish sale a few weeks ago, and was currently parading around her feet in sparkly sequined glory. Maybe it was color-blind, because as far as Kaen knew hot pink, lime green, and blindingly neon yellow didn’t exactly match.
Kaen looked down. The beastie was giving her that wide-eyed shining look Kaen had come to associate with, You’re thinking bad things about me, but I know you don’t really mean it and won’t you just play with me and love me?
She sighed, awkwardly leaning down to pat it on the head. Why couldn’t she have ended up with something normal, instead of this rampaging ball of Nieken fluff that could be one minute looking cute and the next–
Demolishing your furniture. Kaen pulled the fluff-beast out of the lovingly gnawed wreckage of her favorite cushiony chair and brought it outside, where there were no boxes of wonder to pillage and no furniture to eat. The Nieken happily scooted off to examine a sparkly glint in the hedge – a kleptomaniac obsessed with shiny objects, to boot – while its bemused temporary caretaker flopped on the ground to decide what she should do. Eggs didn’t just appear out of thin air; there had to be some kind of parents she could foist this fiendish furball off on. In the meantime… “You need a name. I can’t just keep calling you fluff-beastie.”
It was back again, and delicately nibbled on her shoelaces in thought. Then its eyes widened, and it bounced up in an apparent attempt to spear the book Kaen had brought out with her with its tiny horn nubs. It was, ironically, one of the ones she had picked up at that antique store where all the trouble began. “What are you– Ow! My fingers aren’t food! You mean you want a name from this?” It meeped in satisfaction and wiggled its floppy ears in the approximate direction of the title, waiting for the answer to sink in…
“…Macbeth? But you’re a girl… I think. And that’s definitely a guy’s– “
“Mrrrrrrr.”
Amazing how a ball of fluff could have so many sharp and pointy bits, wasn’t it…
“Okayfine! Have it your way! Macbeth it is!”
Funny, but she could’ve sworn the thing grinned at her… But then it flopped up onto her lap, made a sort of happy whirring noise, and was instantly asleep.
First thing tomorrow she was going out to find its – her – parents, and give them back their baby. But right now… Kaen had to admit these things were pretty darn cute.
Even if they weren’t a patch on frogs.
