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im not in the best of moods and it really just doesn't help that they wont let me have my ******** privacy! they wont let me shut the door to my own ******** room! actually if im in a room they wont let me shut the door at all really. im sick of it!

today me and my sister were in my room. she was on the computer looking up band s**t and i was sitting happily on my bed drawing and singing sixx:am songs. i was happy. but then they come and open the door to my room and they dont even knock. then they ask what we are doing as if we are doing something bad. then as they leave they open the door all the way and walk off. when i ask them to please shut the door they say "no you cant have your door shut" what the ********?


then me and my sister go into her room later and start watching a movie. we close the door. then they come again and open the door and ask what we are watching as if we are watching something bad. again they leave after they open the door all the way.

i cant take it anymore. i need to be alone. im not bad and im not doing bad things when they cant see me. i dont want them to hear me talk because i say things that...that they wouldn't understand and they would make them bad. i dont want them to see me cry because they mock me. i dont want them to know what i enjoy because they will take it from me.

i dont understand....do they....do they really hate me? the things they do make it seem that way. there is no love here. they wont even look at me anymore. they dont want to be around me ever and they dont care. but they must know if im doing bad things in there home. i....why do i care? i dont love them...i haven't for a long time. but...i dont want to be hated. maybe i wouldn't care if they let me do and have the things that make me happy. they love my pain.