This is a detective story i wrote for my english class. tell me what you think!
XD
Bar Smash
By: Vampire Bella of Forks
At 3pm, the motocross inn was swarming with people. On the second story at apartment 301, yellow caution tape laced the front door. A girl sat crying in the back of an ambulance with paramedics rushing in and out. I became over whelmed with all the commotion, but Twi was unfazed. She had an absent look on her face as she sipped her coffee. No matter how quiet she may be, she always has the answer to the crime even when it looks like she didn’t do a thing. Twi simple said “well lets go see the damage” and walked to the stairs at the side of the building. I followed Twi up the stairs in unison with her, never giving me a second glance, just simply sipping her coffee. We reached the top of the stairs and head east tord the yellow tapped room. I lifted the yellow tape as Twi ducked under and I shortly followed.
The scene inside was horrific. 2 bodies, one headless, Blood coated the whole floor, with a large pool under both bodies. John Dow’s head was sliced of clean through the bone, while Jane Dow lay across him, with a knife in hand and a slit across her throat. At first I thought I was in a nightmare bond to wake up, but I never will. Twi crossed her arms behind her back and carefully walked around the bodies analyzing the scene. Armed officers walked in and out of the room as Twi sipped her coffee and looked at the gruesome scene. “Take notes Lindel” Twi said as I flipped out my pad and pencil. “ John Dows head missing, knife in hand of Jane Dow lay across John Dow, much blood, no signs of a break in, possible murder suicide but put a star next to that one”. I followed Twi around the room carefully writing down exactly what she says, putting stars next to possible misleading clues. “Twi, Lindel, we have 4 friends of the 2 deceased down stairs with info of the crime” said an officer as he poked his head in the room. Twi sipped her coffee and said “ok, we will be down in a sec” and with that the officer left. Twi is such an amazing detective, ever since her parents, she has been so good at solving mysteries, even though she says nearly nothing and is always glued to her coffee cup. “Were done here” that’s all she said and she left the room for the stairs. I put my pad and pencil in my pocket and followed her down the stairs.
As we entered the crowded parking lot I followed Twi straight to the ambulance where we had seen the girl crying but she was not crying any longer because there were 3 other teens there, comforting her. We approached the 4 teens that all seemed to be around the age of 18. “Hello I am detective Twi, and this is my assistant lindel, we are sorry for your loss, but if it is ok then we would like to ask you a few questions?” Twi asked, she was always polite to the relatives of the deceased. “No problem. I am Dexter, and this is my sister Carmen.” Dexter said pointing to him and to the girl standing next to him. “I am Bane and this is Rim” the other guy said, and then pointing to the girl who was crying. “Carmen and I were suppose to meet the 2 deceased, Crow Huri and Sil Yakama for lunch at 2pm today, but when Rim called we rushed over” Dexter began then bane continued. “I live in apartment 300 next to Crows. At around 10pm last night, crow asked me to go to The Tavern with him and Sil last night, but I declined. I heard someone come home around 2 I think but I can’t be sure I was mostly asleep. The next day I saw Sil enter Crows apartment and the next thing I know Rim is banging on my door screaming to call 911 because Crow and Sil are dead!” “I got a call from Sil, she said that Crow is dead and that she can’t live without him and then she hangs up. I was worried so I came over and found what you see up stairs” rim stated out of nowhere, you could see that these to people meant a lot to her. “Sil didn’t kill Crow, she Killed herself because she loves crow and could never live without him” “I Know what that feels like” Twi said as she stared at the ground, almost life less. “Thank you for your time, you are all free to go” and with that Twi took a sip of her coffee and walked to her car. I wrote down everything the kids said, and then hurried to the passenger side of Twi’s Mustang and jumped in. Twi began to drive; I knew where she was going, to the bar.
We approached the closed bar, as employs entered in to set up for the night to come. I followed Twi into the bar and watched her tap a waitress on the shoulder whose name tag read Lorelei. “Excuse me; have you seen this man before?” Twi asked as the waitress took the picture in her hand. ”Yea, I have seen him before, he was here last night with a girl” Lorelei said to Twi. “I am sure it’s him because he was flirting with me. He was so wasted that when the bar tender, Nel cut him off, he throw a bottle at her. After that he was forced to leave, actually write after that Nel left.” “Thank you for time” Twi said as she took a sip of her coffee and turned to walk to the bar. There was a girl behind the bar, turned around cleaning a class. “Excuse me; have you seen this man before?” Twi said as the bar tender turned to look at the picture. You could see the scratch the bottle had left on her face. The expression on her face went from bad, to worst. “Of course I have, he was that evil man who did this to my face” as Nel points to her face. “I mean me really. Now my perfect face is ruined. I hope he gets what’s coming to him” as Nel shouts it across the empty bar. “Thank you for your time” and Twi left the bar. I followed her out to her car and we began to drive. She said “call the chief and tell him to send a squad over to the bar and pick up are friend Nel and charge her with murder” and with that I took out my phone.
Tomorrow
“Twi turns out to be right. When they went to arrest Nel she confessed to the murder of Crow. After he left she followed him home, and as soon as Sil lift she knocked on the door, and to drunken crow to realize that it wasn’t Sil opened the door. Nel came in took the knife and cut off his head. Then she took the head and hid it in the freezer in the back room of the bar. We found it there late last night.” I explained to the four friends so they could have some closer from this horrific incident. The group of friends thanked me for coming over and I walked out the front door and jumped in Twi’s mustang and we drove off.
 Best Painted Lullaby · Tue Jul 15, 2008 @ 07:42pm · 2 Comments |
