Man I havent done this for awhile but a friend told me to write so here i am bitches. life is somewhat okay i guess i started school(im a junior in high school now) again so it is nice seeing old friends and its great having my boyfriend back at my school. My life at home is somewhat better but is still unbearable. my mother is still the evil, corrupt, demonic perfectionist teacher that is and loves turning my life and she must watching me suffer even though she is being a very good actress about it.
I think i get my acting skills from her...
BUT ANYWAY back on track(if there was a track) my friends are still crazy but its nice being around them. My boyfriend is back at my school but he is still crazy...but i love him either way(i am talking to him while i write this). Two good points about this year is:
A. Im not in Japanese anymore so i dont have to deal with the gay pervert of a teacher and i dont have to see my ex
B. My ex is not in my orchestra anymore...the school forgot to out him in and he cant get the classes changed.(YES BITCHES YES!!!!) plus he is not in any other classes...but sadly i have his bus and B-day lunch....
But despite all of this a shadow still looms over me...
In the last journal entry I described my acceptance of being a self-mutilator...and i feel that my recovery is about to take a horrible turn. For some odd reason I feel worse then a coupe of years ago. I mean I have no reason to because my has been getting better but for reason I still feel that void that started my traumatic past looming over me with no reason.
There is probably a reason but its too buried deep into my soul that I dont know where or what to think. I dont like people worrying but that is a burden that you must carry when you are a freak(jk jk jk) I mean a person like me...
I am trying to get help but like so many others thing, it is too hard for one person to handle. I have people to support me but my boyfriend is the one that holds me up through the most. That is why I love him so much, and for that I thank him from the depths of my heart(yes I have one people) and my soul...
I guess Im done for today man I wrote too much...I will see you all later in October's Rant...
BYE BITCHES!!!!
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The Diary Of Imperfection(A Work In Progress)
I am changing this journal to a diary of my progress of getting clean( trying to quit my self-mutilation....)
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Don't fall in that trap! if I can't cut you can't either, dammit! jkjk you know I luv ya. Always here to talk to you or be ranted at lol. love your use of bitches in this post btw biggrin