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I hate school, and not for the normal bullshit reasons of "it's hard" or "it's boring" I hate it because it's failing in its main purpose, teaching. I don't know how it is other places, but here were I live, it sucks. We had five years of the civil war, and I'm talking five strait years, nothing else. Our school teaches to the test, so everything is about passing the test, and nothing about actually learning and retention.
School has lost all meaning to me, and I honestly don't care anymore. I'll read a manga instead of doing my homework, watch TV instead of study, and you know what? Do to the ever lowering standards of the world at large, I can get away with that, I can pass and graduate without doing s**t.
Now, of course, the parental units aren’t too happy about this, but you know what? I don't care. For years and years, I constantly said that I wanted to do good in school, go to collage, get a good job. But now I know that that was just a younger me, spouting what my parents had imprinted on me. now that’s not to say I won't go to collage, I probably will, and maybe, just maybe, collage will be better, maybe it will focus on actual teaching, and not tests, but until that happens, school is no longer something I center on, because it has no real value to me.
I don't want a life that's special or fantastic, I just want to live, free, so to speak. I want to live my way, and do what I want to do, like opening a small book store.
Again, enter parental units. On discovering my failure to turn in homework that is not only meaningless, it's stupid, my mom let loose
"Oh my god, oh my god" like it's the ******** end of the world, and you know what? I tell her what I feel, that I don't care. "I don't work my a** off so you can sit around...." then kick me out, let me get a job and kick me out. "That’s a quitter’s attitude" and that’s absolute bullshit.
But the bullshit gets bigger. I swear to god, this is what she said, almost word for word
"All over the world people are dieing and fighting so they can have an education, Women are nothing without an education"
What. The. ********. Thank you, mother, for singly handedly undermining every feminist ideal you ever instilled in me. We’re nothing? Don’t make me laugh. One of the most amazing, innovative, smart, talented, funny people I know didn't go to collage, and she's making a life for herself.
So the point here is that, I do have an education, I know how to read and write (pretty darn well, to) I can do basic math, I know why the sky is blue and what an igneous rock is. There's more to life than a job and money. There’s happiness, to. The richest man in the world can be ******** miserable, because he got his money doing something he hates, but I, I can be happy with a apartment and a decent job, doing something I love. I can deal without cable, without the newest electronics. If I'm happy, the superficial things don't matter.
And I think this is the thing, the revelation, I've been looking for for a long time. So ya, I'll try and do my homework, I'll study, but if I mess up, I won't sweat it. Having my mom or dad tell me "good job" isn't all there is to life. Now that I've realized that, I'm not going to let anyone try and drag me back into the fog of "what the hell am I going to do?"
I'll leave with some words of wisdom from my English teacher, Mr.DiCarlo. Now, Mr.DiCarlo is insane, he has hammers, literal hammers, and all the desks in his room (including his own) are broken, but he is also one of the smartest teachers I have ever had the pleaser of learning from. Today, in class, this is what he said,
"I think it's crazy that everyone feels they have to be famous, I mean, there have to be normal people in the world"
Think about that.
 Nemene · Thu Nov 20, 2008 @ 01:39am · 1 Comments |
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