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well, maybe it's just me, but this holiday season seems incredibly off. people don't seem as cheery as usual, and it went by in a flash. and you know, this is one christmas that i clearly could have done without. it's just...well it doesnt feel the same. maybe it gets like this as you get older or something? hey, i wouldn't know. i don't have that kind of experience. no, it can't be just getting older. because there are even adults who still love christmas. come to think of it, it's probably just me. i've changed too much. or rather, my various situations have changed too much. but what can i do about that? hmm? i HATE pretending to be happy. it's so aggravating. and then when people mistake the fake for the real thing and they start blabbing away about how great everything is..ugh. oh my gosh, i just read over what i just typed and i sound so emo. ha. oh well...i kind of have this thing about when i'm writing i don't much like to erase what i've written, because usually what i write is what's on my mind. i mean, why should i have to cover that up? if your even bothering reading this then that's your problem that your still here.
on to a new thing. i don't know, you probably find my frustration amusing. even i do sometimes, but this is a little over the top. so one of my neighbors that i normally babysit for is out of town and they asked me to go feed their dog today. oh, and also to pick up the paper for one of my OTHER neighbors, because the dog feeding neighbors were supposed to pick it up, but since they're going to be out of town they can't. oh jeez, that just made no sense. anyhoo. so i woke up this morning and i'm thinking "oh yeah. i have to feed that dog..." and here's the thing, i don't really like dogs. when i was younger i was absoloutly terrified of them. like since i was three when i lived in hawaii this dog was all spastic and it tackled me down and i guess that tramatized my childhood mind so up till i was about eleven i would freak out whenever i saw a dog and try to climb up on my dad's back so that the dog wouldn't be able to touch me. yeah. pathetic. but we all have our phobias i suppose.. anyhoo, i'm not afraid of them anymore, but i'm not all that fond of them. especially if they're the really happy dogs that like to climb all over you. so anyways, back to the story. i got up this morning thinking about the dog, and i find out that my neighbor meagan called me. so i call her back and guess what. she wants me to feed someone's dog. because she's going to be at her dad's house tonight therefor, she cannot feed the dog. and apparently i am the poor girl's last hope. nooooo. so i agree to it, after MUCH complaining, believe me. but i agree to it. so she goes with me and we walk down to this other girl's house and she shows me the dog and what to do. so suddenly i become like the neighborhood everything girl. and a DOG WATCHER. seriously, of all things that i would have thought i'd be in the future, a dog watcher?! nooo way. if you would've told that to my childhood self i would have told you that clearly there was something wrong with you and you should go get your head examined. but here i am today. what's gone wrong with the world? let me tell you, a lot of things.
For example, right now as i type my mother and father are making a christmas dinner. and if i remember correctly, i'm pretty sure we skipped on that last year, but they're up there making dinner. they aren't having a cheerful jolly good time, i can tell you that much. so why do they bother cooking together if they're hating it? i. don't. know. yet another mystery. maybe it's for us kid's sake, but quite honestly they can decide to get divorced tomorrow and i'd be fine with that. not that i'd tell my mom.
well. i think i've written enough for now. knowing me, i'll be writing again later tonight. i'm sure i'll have much to talk about. goodbye.
~krissy