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Dear Online Diary
How... Flattering?
Returning to my desk I stared at my paper.

A 'C.'

A 'C!' A 'C!?' I never get Cs! Oh dear god and actually tried on this assignment!

Once I complained of my grade to Lauren, the teacher called me to his desk.

I got marked down 2 WHOLE GRADES for spacing and using the words "I believe" ONCE in my fake business letter.

My argument was that for only 2 words that were suggested not to be used according to his scribbles and spacing should still be at least a B.

This time I was not gonna let 'im get away with foolish grading, oh no.

I had confidence today. Without realizing it, we both had risen our voices and were ACTUALLY arguing.

Finally, this damned son-of-a-b***h told me, "You know what? I think you should get some 'special' help. Maybe a different school, were you could be taught individually and where they keep an eye on you. Obviously I cannot teach you, nor control you."

I stood still, appalled that he suggested me this alternative again, infront of the whole class, again.

This happens at least once every 2 weeks, I end up crying and cutting in the bathroom.

I guess that's what I get for being brave, huh?
Usually I just stand there and take it, today, I quickly walked back to my seat, feeling defeated once again, but had a perfect set-up.

"What would you like me to do with your paper?"
"You can shove it."
Snickers were heard throughout the room, and then, complete silence.

I wrote a few suicide letters, while tears were streaming down my face.

I was sick of being taken advantage of.
Damned authority!

The lunch bell rang and I darted out the door, scanning the ground outside for any shards of glass.
Before getting very far, I ran into Kianne. She was oblivious to my boo-boo face at 1st.
She picked up my melancholy once I had not responded to anything she was saying.
Kianne became worried. She looked worse than I did seeing me hurt.

Before I knew it I collapsed into her open arms, crying onto her shoulder.
She ran her fingers through my hair to comfort me.
When I let her go I became calm.

“I’m gonna get some glass.”
I turned around, and trudged away.
She called out for me a few times and figured out I did not want to be spoken to.

Once I was sure none could be found, I went into Vincench's room, hysterical.

She helped me out a bit.
My no-snitching policy was broken when I accidentally said 'he' instead of repeating "the teacher." I only use it with peers anyway. I despise authority, and if any1 who thinks they have authority and will disrespect me with it, do not expect me to let you loose.

I must always win, and Sapphie should be proud that I am taking down authority WITH authority.
Every1 knows adults do not listen to kids. We’re nothing to them, only in the way. Only present for salary.
Phooey.

So out of this whole ordeal, the product was a meeting. ANOTHER ******** MEETING!?

I get enough of those weekly.

When I entered 5th, Kianne seemed so worried. She put her hand into mine and whispered into my ear,
“Are you feeling better? I have something for you.”

She lightly tugged, so I followed her outside.

Kianne raised her short sleeve Tee.

Exposed under the tight, black shirt were small cuts. It is pretty difficult to cut on your shoulders. (hurts like a b***h undressing)

“I did this for you.”
She explained what every cut meant.
1 for my sadness, my suicidal threats to her and every1 around me, my pain, and her concern for my well-being.
I was awe-struck. She really does care. I mean, she cut for me. I was speechless.

I stood still. Madame walked up to us, “Everything alright?”
Before even near, Kianne shoved her sleeve down, scared others may see.

“Yes,” I mumbled, then looking over at Kianne, I smiled, “Now it is.”

Madame turned around back to the class.

Kianne hugged me infront of every1, making me feel awkward. I did not want to make her look like a cheater.
She saw I resented her hug. She positioned herself right infront of me.
A chill ran through my spine. I was nervous.
She leaned in, and I pulled away a bit.

Kianne smiled, and kissed me on the cheek.
I felt myself blushing.

1 day I have to tell her how I feel.

But I do not think that day will ever come.





 
 
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