As I hold our baby in my arms,
I’m reminded of our past and the future we thought of before you left.
The babe is sleeping peacefully,
Like I always did after the nights of sobbing in your arms.
As I lay him in his crib to rest,
He reminds me of you while he drifts into an untroubled sleep.
I walk out of his room and into ours,
Laying on the bed with my face buried in the pillows, as if I’m hiding from the world.
My brother enters the room and holds me tightly to his chest,
Shushing me and calmly stroking my hair while he rocks me back and forth.
I cling to him, sobbing into his shirt,
Memories of you crushing me further and making me hurt worse than ever.
My dreadful past haunts me and it will forever,
For I will never forget the day your eyes shut forever and your chest stopped moving.
And though I have the message that says,
“The day I stop loving you is the day my eyes close forever.”
I never stopped believing you love me as you did,
And I know that someday, maybe not soon, but someday, I will join you.
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