Ok, proceed...
Very well your honor. So, Ia-- I mean Rufus, sorry... *clang clang*; so what would you pronounce Ian doing on the night of October 30th? Please do remember, you're udner oath here.
Well, he seemed to be 'fishy' towards the house, wot' you say?Excuse me, *clang clang* What did you say? Please, Cat, english...Meow-Meow-Meow, Meow-Meow-Meow, Meow; Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow, Mewo-Meow-Meow; Meow!Over a rough translation, i've found that to be translated as to: "I want Chicken, I want Liver, Meow-Mix, Meow-Mix; please deliver!" Wha--*Phone rings* Well do excuse me...A moment later...
It's for you Rufus...
Baxter, is that you?! Where are you?!OMGLOLZ!... *clears his throat* Do excuse me oy'e ole' chaps, this capter' got a b'lzing 'mount o' work to do at thee' ole' farm up on them hills...
OBJECTION!! *Phoenix Wright's copy-righted words of wisdom..* The witness is taking a call, in the name of the COURT stature, that's NOT ACEPTE--...*uber-clang clang* WTFLOLZ! U R NOT UBER, LOLZOZL! *HAX*Ahh, what the hell.... COURT IS ADJOURNED....TO BE CONTINUED...
The court is now in session once again, Defensebot, you can engage the examination once again...Thank you your honor, anyways I do pardon the jury of my mishaps before; but I must say it wasn't my fault... The Defense calls Michael Jackson to th--Wait, what the heck?!...Defensebot, you're in session...Pardon me your honor.. Anyways, Michael Jackson proceed to the stand...
Awww, thank you lil' Shiny man, I like you!...Objection, your honor! What does this have to do with it? I mean, c'mon this is just OUTRAGEOUS!Prosecutionbot, please stop badgering the witness! Defensebot, please continue, and hurry with it already!Erm... *clang clang* I'm sorry your honor my script seemed to have had a malfunction, sh--HE was not witness, your honor. Anyways, the defense calls Leon to the stand.Hmmmph..Please state your designation and occupation for the court record database, Leon.I'm Leon... An advanced robot sent back through time to destroy all of the Trail of Ian, including Ian himself. He is of no value to the future, and thus', must be TERMINATED...Dude, you so hax. I mean c'mon, where in the hell did you get that Vulcan 70mm Six-Barreled cannon and grenade launcher from? You're soooooo disconnected from my server, pal...TO BE CONTINUED...
After an intense disconnection of Leon, who was using a 56K, the Court continues by the questioning of the defendant, Ian.
Ok, court is now in regained session, Defensebot, you may call your next witness.Actually your honor, I call the defendant, Ian, to the witness stand.*whispers to himself*Ian is an emotional breakdown, ehehehe... This'll be like introducing a n00b's head with a 50cal. incinerary shell... Hehe...Ok, Defensebot you may begin the questioning.Thank you; anyways, will the defendant state his designation and occupation as to be processed into court records?...
My name is Ian, and i'm the current employee of the Barton Boutique, I also own the small shop. I sell the greatest of items for nice prices, that anyone could agree to! I mean, do we have bail here or what? I could soooo sell Rufus, he's perfect, people would pay dumb prices for him, just to have a cat the sprekens' random languages!Ian, silence! You speak of your shop's stupidity more than of your own survival! I mean, do you care that people will make you their man-bitc--CENSORED?!Eww, like eww! That's wrong! Anyways, I quit. This is just stupid, and I don't feel right here.IAN! You do know if you step out on your own case, you'll be fined an even larger sentense! I'm trying to help you here, dumbas--CENSORED!Defensebot, please stop badgering your own damn defendant! Seriously, like WTF is going on?!Sir, please don't mind my interruption, i'll make it quick. Anyways, this here Trail has been dragged on too long, and it's just plain stupid. I mean, Ian here is too go--CENSORED-damn retarded to even light a match! He couldn't even comprehend burning down a mansion, he'd burn himself to the ground as he rolls around doing the Stop-Drop-and Roll tactics, he's just a FRIGEN' RETARD!OMFG, WHY ARE WE YELLING!?!?! We can settle this by speaking lightly, and resolving our conflicts with peace.The jury and spectators roar, a vast arguement has undergone; but is soon silenced by the Judge's mallet.
ORDER IN THE COURT! ORDER, ORDER! Defensebot, PUT THE EXPLOSIVES DOWN... Prosecutionbot, PUT THE 50-CAL. RIFLE DOWN. This has gone too far, and I see no reasons as to not challenge the both of you, as you're VERY close to being DISMISSED...The court-room rumbles, a large fewd brews... The verdict, is soon to come!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Well, after a short recess, we've got ourselves a problem within the Trail of Ian. Defensebot has undoubtly been found shot and stabbed several times in the face, three blocks away. The murderer has fled on foot, but the weapon used has been clarified as a 50cal. Berret High-Powered Rifle, witch was found at the seen and has been brought here.*whispers to himself* There's my baby... Don't be sad, papa will be claiming you again shortly... Ehehehe...The judge sets the rifle upon his podium, which begins to creack under wait. After assuring the case, he sets it down. Suddenly though, the entrance doors of the court-room open, and a new presented attorney along with his companions stealthly walk down the floor to the judge, who shakes his head in a nod abruptly.
The burden of defensebot's assassination will be covered later, as of now, Ian, your attorney ahs been presented as Phoenix Wright...Thank you your honor, it's a pleasure to be covering a case of this much fame. Anyways, the defense would like to call Soul-Strife, to the witness stand...Please state your name and current occupation.
*Is unable to talk, and thus' uses a Communication computer to type his messages for him* My name is Soul-Strife, my real name is unknown even to myself. I have no occupation as of after the events of October, and I now wander the towns of Gaia.Mmmmhmm, thank you Strife. Anyways to stay on topic; did you attend to the party of October 30th?Yes, I attended the party through its whole time. Even after the lab 'accident' that was credited with the release of several small creatures called 'Grunnies'.So, you stayed even after the warnings of these creatures?Please, could the defense get to the point?Excuse me your honor, I just wanted to clear that up. Anyways, during the last moments of the party, where you near the lab? Where you able to see the back part of the mansion that were closed off?I could see the lab, and I could see the back parts well through a waiting room.Well, then. If you clearly saw the back-wing of the mansion; could you tell me if you saw a fire start, or any mysterious figures running from the area?I didn't see a fire, but I saw Ian run from the halls. He also dropped something, something of witch the defense will soon call up.The defense submits Exhibit 3.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Two days have passed since the last events of the Trail of Ian. The judge is having a hard time with the prosecution, and the defense constently objects to claims brought forward by the prosecution. Defensebot after short notice is somewhat operational, and wishes to continue with ace attoney, Phoenix Wright. The judge, thoguh aware of the double-attorney violation, has found his reasons to be acceptable.
This term has proved rather vague in pointing towards a verdict, so far we've commited more crimes than we've solved. Anyways, we left off with the posecution, which is where we will begin today...Your honor, jury, being this the moment of truth will only one more active day of court left, i'd like to ask you: Has Ian done good? With proof that Ian was INDEED at the scene of the crime, with a rather burnt bottle of pills, and enough camera feed to prove as evidence, I can only say once more; what is it you see in this criminal?!Prosecutionbot, you will refrain from calling the defendant a criminal!I'm sorry your honor. Anyways, the prosecution calls Bucho to the stand.Will the witness please give his designation and occupation for the court database records.
My name is Bucho, i've guarded the Gambino family for some time now, very long time indeed. I like my job, and I serve loyal, Gino could tell you that himself.So, you indeed saw Ian at the party of October 30th running from the fire screaming like a little panzy?I can run the speed of a tiger on crack-co'cane, LOLZ..........Ugggh... Yes, Ian ran fast, and hit a glass door that was washed earlier, I think he was knocked unconsciense...Dude, no. I didn't hit a door, I would have remembered that Retard!... *thinks:* Did I hit a door? OMFG, LOLZ. That's why I have stitches in my head, I thought that was from Rufus sitting on my head for sixteen years! LOLZOLZROFL...Thanks for your assistance Buncho, I have no more questions as for the current session.Then the prosecution has restored the verdict, at least of his opinion? Bucho's that is.Yes your honor. Also, I have a question, when will that rifle be sent to the Evidence room? I'd like to, ummmm... Check on it a bit, see some aspects of it...Prosecutionbot, you're not dealing with that case, so you'll not be permitted that information. The defense may now begin to question the current witness, Bucho, but first Sasha would like to comment to the Defensebot. That is, if defensebot is fully operational to do this task?The wretched bot is slid up to the front, in position to question the witness. His assistance and first-aid sit near in case of malfunction.
Thank you, your honor. I'm also fully functional at the moment, just some bruises and scars is all! Anyways, Sasha, you wanted to talk to me?
Yes, I wanted to talk! Anyways, here's a story for you of what happened: So me and Gino were together, alone, when the fire broke out not too clsoe to us, but still clsoe enoguh to get to us quickly! Anyways, it got to us, and Gino was brave to save me, but at the cost of his life, or so I thoguht at the moment. Anyways, from then on I figured Ian's position towards it, he was JEALOUS like a mad hormone-filled Football player at Barton's Stadium! I think love got in his way, and he was jealous, but I don't think he'd start the fire!Thank you Sasha! Now the court knows a great deal more, the puzzle-peices are falling together, anyways, Bucho-Time'o!*thinks to himself* Hmmph, indeed, Sasha proved a bit...Anyways, being your questioning, please, Defensebot.
Thank you, your honor...The defensebot's arm falls off, but he is unphased and begins questioning the witness.
So your name is Bucho, and you've worked the the Gambino family for some time now?Too long for Bucho to remember, very long, too long... Anyway, why you ask Bucho this question he does not like?I'm sorry Bucho but it's for the court records, anyways, could you show us the feed of Ian running from the fire that the prosecution mentioned earlier? I'm positive that we must see that to gain a verdict.Bucho's assistance gives the defensebot some files and a disc.
The defense would like to show the jury the events copied onto the camera, of which were recordered.The defense submits Exhibit 2.
I'd like to point out what we're seeing here, to my own opinion, if the judge doesn't mind of course.You may, but I will remind the Jury, this is presented as an opinion of the defense, NOT A VERDICT!... Anyways, begin...Thank you, your honor. Anyways, i'll keep this as informative as I can. On the night of October 30th, 2005, a fire broke our and destroyed the Gambino mansion of Isle De Gambino, whic hwas found as burst ashes. Anyways, Ian was found guilty of Arson on December 31st, 2005, moments before the new year celebration began underway. Anyways, i'd like to point out, that Ian is NO CRIMINAL! What the feed has presented is clearly a doctored peice of work, the window frame and tectures of the mansion are all too wrong! C'MON, have I been the only one to notice that?! Bucho, or someone has framed Ian to get him out of the picture, someone like GINO GAMBINO!!!The prosecution bot snaps, and shouts abruptly:
WEWT, WE GOT A BON-FIRE GOING HERE! SAY GOODBYE, MY FELLOW PEICES OF SH--CENSORED!!!!The prosecutionbot self-destructs within the court-room, but does not kill any members, in fact he'd only injure six once the tally was complete.
TO BE CONTINUED...
The arson of the former court-house, if it could be called arson, has delaided us no longer. Anyways, jury, it's time to end this Trail. The defense may begin its closing statement, if that is defensebot is operational after the explosion. Please respond, in any way defensebot....I'm not dead yet, i'm to be decomisioned AFTER the verdict sir, anyways, your honor. I'm ready to begin...Then please, enlighten the jury as to why Ian should be confirmed, innocent.Ian, like said, should not be found guilty due to being framed. The pills you may ask? They lead him to the scene of the crim! The photos are clearly doctored by someone within Gaia security, but since Gino is unable to join us today, as well as Bucho, I can't confirm this to you. That's for you to decide, anyways I shall continue; Ian was caught running the mansion CLEARLY because he was afraid of the fire, also partly probably because he wanted to save Sasha from the fire, without a care of Gino. So clearly he headed for Sasha. Ian dropped the pills he wanted to show Sasha, but continued to run. Clearly though, Ian ran into a glass door which knocked him unconscience, rescue officials were lucky to get him out alive, as smoke and fire had surrounded him for some time, tramaticly damaging Ian's brain and thought function equaling his intelligence to that of a n00b.LOLZ, I R NOT NUB YOU FU--CENSORED, CENSORED-CENSE-CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSOREDmutha' fu--CENSORED, CENSORED; CENSORED, CENSORED!!! LOLZ, I SHOW U NUB, I R UBE RSMART LOLZ, RIGHTZ ME HOMESZZZ-ES?!Ian is escorted out of the court-room...
.......Thank you Defensebot, you've done great on this trail. Anyways, since the prosecutioner is reason to be extremly deceased, Phoenix Wright will be taking his place. Please give Phoenix a moment to get ready, court is now upon a short term attorney-recess.The judge slams his stern mallet once, and the occupants of the court-house file out for a moment.
Moments later...
The people of the court file back in, the clock is set to 11:57a.m., recess is just about over.
*waits for the clock to strike twelve, noon* .....Ahha! Recess is over, everyone tallied and clear. *clears throat* The prosecution may begin thier closing statement...What the defensebot has told you is hardly supported by any evidence! Going off a hunch is not how a court is run, THEY'RE REAL! Ignore the doctored shourts of the defensebot himself! Ian is quite clearly guilty! Running from the scene of the crime, RIGHT AFTER the fire had been discovered! Pills? The pills were just part of his plan, the knew quite well what they were, I could bet you! Ian is guilty, and letting a man of jealousy free will do Gaia more wrong than anything we've seen, and even in my short time here, i've seen a bit!...The closing statements are now over as presumed. The Trail of Ian: Arson of the Gambimo Mansion, lies to the jury. The jury will have one hour to decide this Ian's verdict; after what you've heard I believe it's quite possible to do. Recess is in session, I expect the Jury to not discuss ANYTHING with ANYONE, court is adjourned untill 1:00 p.m.!THE.... VERDICT... IS... CLEAR.....
The court-house is full again, and it's now One.... The verdict, is waiting to be announced... The bailiff receives the document from the jury, and hands it to the judge, who begins to open it slowly
Mmhmmm... I see then, the jury has made their decision. Could someone ask Ian to come back into the courtroom, with officers of couse since he's insane for the moment...Ian, is led in by the same two officers who arrested him, ironicly...
For the Arson of the Gambino mansion as of the October 30th Celebration, the jury finds the defendant, Ian, NOT GUILTY.The court's crowd rumbles, half the room is screaming in happiness, Ian is free! The other half, ignores the chants and decide to shake hands with eachother feeling a meutral respect has been earned.
Ian, you did it, you're free! How do you feel Ian?!Ian, for once through this whole Trail snaps out of his crazed state, and feels a blessing of warmth in his chest, which is probably the bursting of his heart...
Finally, i'm free! I've believed in you all, I know i've made a fool in myself, but i'll make it up to all of yo--Ian is faced with Defensebot, who pats him on the back rather hard, causing Ian to regain his state of retardedness...
Ian, you're free now! Now you can party or whatever you do!... *thinks to himself* I'm SOOO dead....Ian found not-guilty was what I figured it to be, I mean look at the shrivellin' basta--CENSORED, he couldn't light a match if his life depended on fire, and he happened to be on an island surrounded by oil which would somehow save him, metaphoricly speaking I guess... Whatever the hell that means... COURT IS DISMISSED!!!THE END!... Or is it?....
Currently due to demand from a friend, i'll be slowly posting Deleted Scenes, into my journal if it will start working soon. Please be patient while you wait for them all to be finished!
Scene One:
Ian, Caught Red Handed! The story of Ian found GUILTY!
This is a brief way to show what would happen if Ian were to be found guilty. Some rage and humor flies about in this Deleted Scene; so don't forget to show your support and comment!
Scene Two:
How Phoenix Wright got to the Trail of Ian!
Sadly, we all know that sometimes Flight Attendants can be real jacka--CENSORED, and to any out there who've undoubtly seen Anger Management, we all could relate to this story!...
