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Diary,
I have finally done it. I found myself. I am.... me. What came over me days ago was no more then the pain I've suffered that I allowed to build up. But no longer will it. There is no more pain. I am not aware of how really, but somehow Im no longer afraid. I recieved my beautiful gift from Youssef. I truly will cherish it forever. I don't feel alone any longer as well. When I have this necklace, it feels so... peaceful now. Like as if everything is alright, that everything is better then it was before.

For the first time in 3 days.... I started to sing again. I changed my appearance of my avatar, and now my page truly reflects the real me. I do know that there still is pain. But, its going to be gone for a long, long, long time. With this necklace, I feel as if Youssef is with me. Here watching me, smiling, holding me, and I can still feel all his love though we're not together at the moment. Once Im with him, I know I wont be able to stop laughing and my heart will definately be in the heavens.

Last night, I had a very short, sweet dream that I woke up screaming with giddyness, hehe. I had a dream that I was in my bed, or Youssefs bed, i don't who's exactly, but anyways, I was laying there, half asleep, then someone came in the room. I closed my eyes, partially afraid of what would happen. Then, whoever came in the room, sat down on the bed next to me. Slowly they leaned in, and kissed me on the forhead. And whispered "Goodbye sweetie. I'll see you soon". I realized, in my dream, it was Youssef telling me goodbye on his way to work. I screamed with such giddyness and joy when I woke up. The thought of him actually doing that......*scream* lol.

Anyways, I have not much to say. Only that I will be seeing Youssef soon and watching a wonderful comedy with him I hope. If he's not too tired. If he is, thats alright. Last night I fell asleep holding my necklace. And sweetly dreamed of my hero.... I'll definately be holding it again tonight <3

Until tomorrow Dear Diary,
Farewell <3

Youssef's Angel~