jonathan devereux wescott
the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
иιckиąme
- Johnny Come Last
ąɢe
- Twenty-one
иo, you doи'т eveи kиow me
- I’m a hopeless romantic who believes in love at first sight, the type of person who likes watching cheesy chick flicks and reading corny romance novels. I’ve had my heart broken too many times to count but I always fall even harder each time I fall in love. I guess you could say I never learn from my mistakes but, you know what? It’s all worth it, to give my everything to someone and have my life hanging in a balance. It’s scary as hell to give someone that kind of power over me but also a very exhilarating experience. People have sometimes told me that I’m crazy to bare my heart out just like that but it suits me just fine. I won’t have it any other way.
When I’m around other people, it’s the same thing. I give my all to people I consider my friends and I’m friendly to people I don’t even know. People have sometimes called me a doormat because I find it hard to refuse when people ask me for favours, even if it’s totally out of my way. They don’t call me Johnny Come Last for nothing. I guess you could say I’m a pushover because I hardly fight back. It’s not that I’m a wimp, I just don’t like violence.
People have sometimes labeled me as a bit of an emo, since I’m quite sensitive. I get hurt easily because I open up to people easily. Sometimes, people are nice but sometimes, people can be jerks. For some reason, though, I don’t feel like changing. When I am sad, it doesn’t take much to cheer me up. Give me a hug, a peck on the cheek or a lollipop and I’m good. For the moment. But when I’m alone, I mull over things in my head. It’s not good to leave bad feelings pent up.
a pretty boy ℓιke you's jusт ιяяesιsтιbℓe?
- Yep, I’m gay. Always have been and always will be.
you'яe so sωeeт тo тяy
- Boys, boys, boys. Yeah, they’re my kryptonite. Find me a hot boy who’s the slightest bit interested in me and I turn to mush. Well, not really, but I will probably fall in love, HARD. I’ve not really always known that I was gay. It wasn’t until I was twelve and I had my first kiss that I was sure. Yeah, he broke my heart right after when his girlfriend showed up but that was enough for me to develop something akin to an addiction.
I’m also a bit of an artiste. I like musicals, movies, music, theatre. And I love doing things with my hands: drawing, painting, sculpting, taking photos. Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m good at it. Well, okay, so I’ve been told I’m a good photographer. I’ve had some photos featured in the papers once or twice. Speaking of, I rarely ever leave my house without my camera. I bring it around almost everywhere because you never know when you’re gonna come across “the great KODAK moment,” you know? And I’m not into those modern digital cameras, either. Analog’s the only way to go. Unless, maybe, you’re talking about DSLRs.
When I’m down, I turn to my friends to help cheer me up. But, when that fails, I find that sweets are also a great pick-me-up. I usually sit back in a comfortable couch and binge on a Ben and Jerry’s pint while watching a romantic comedy after a break-up. My flavour of choice is cookie dough. It reminds me of times when I used to help my mom bake cookies when I was a kid. Somehow, it always manages to cheer me up even when I’m at my lowest.
I don’t really like when people don’t accept me for who I am. When people find out I’m gay, they usually don’t know how to act. Especially guys. I mean, just because I’m gay and you’re a guy doesn’t mean I wanna jump you. Sometimes, they think I’m just pulling their leg but why would I joke about something like that? I mean, yeah, I’m not a tranny but that doesn’t change my sexual preference. And I don’t like it when people take advantage of me just because I like doing my friends favours. Sometimes, I’ll stick up for myself but most of the time, I’ll just ignore it. I really don’t like confrontations.
тhe тιme ιт тąkes for you тo тąℓk
- I come from a normal, middleclass family. My childhood was happy, no childhood trauma or anything like that. My father is a lawyer and my mother, a pediatrician. They always wanted a big family and they got what they wanted. I have four siblings: Holden and Harper (twins), Trent and Casey. Holden is an architect now and Harper is an interior designer and they’re doing good. Trent’s taking up law and Casey’s a straight-A High School freshman. As for me… Well, I guess I was the black sheep in the family. I’m not exactly dull but it’s not like I excel in sports or studies. The only thing I’m really good at is photography, which doesn’t really interest my parents. Only Holden, Harper and Casey know that I’m gay. We’ve kept that a secret from my parents and Trent because they wouldn’t be on board with it. It’s tiring to have to pretend to my parents but I’m not too keen on coming out to them.
I had my first boyfriend when I was fourteen, altough I knew that I was gay when I was twelve. It didn’t take me long to accept that, but I was careful not to let anyone know. I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t going to go around telling people that I was a fairy. My parents would have sent me to counseling or something. Anyway, his name was Cameron and he was my first love. But it didn’t last long. He moved away soon after. We parted on good terms (a.k.a. we lost our virginity to each other the night before he left) and he still holds a place in my heart. My next few relationships weren’t as uplifting and one of them almost outed me to the whole school before Holden stopped him. That was how he found out. After that, it was only a matter of time before Harper found out and Casey had always had an idea. She was always the one I could turn to.
After that, I stayed out of relationships for a while, although I did have a fling with my uncle’s Hispanic pool boy the summer I turned eighteen. It was fun, but not really my kind of thing. And then, that’s when I met Joseph. I honestly thought we were going to be together forever. I loved him with all my heart. The relationship lasted a little over two years. And… I don’t know. We just sort of fell apart. I never noticed until it was too late. He’d been seeing someone else behind my back. A girl. I was devastated, of course. But what could I do? I holed myself up in my room for a few days before Holden threatened to break down my door and I was forced to open it. I was surprised to find my friends waiting outside with a tub of ice cream. I felt a little bit better but I’m still heartbroken. Despite what Joseph did to me, I don’t hate him. And I’m still not over him. I know I have to move on but I just don’t think I’m ready yet.
puℓℓ my sтяιиɢs
- suzukidesu
