I know that I should be writing something now, but it's about time that I do.
Ok, the name is Bria. In 2006, I began using this gaia account. My avatar that you see is my alter ego. She is more like a model on the darkside. During that time, I was under a lot of stress. Katrina came in 2005 and I was only 14 years old. I moved to different places and it wasn't supposed to happen that way. cry
Everything was supposed to be perfect for me. I met a guy in Texas named Ryan Davis and that's when we became friends. I was living there when I started this account as well. But anyway, I was in a lot of stress by then. I was living in my aunt's house with my mom and my sister. We didn't like the idea of leaving my brother with my dad.
My mother wanted a divorce with my dad and that didn't happen anyway. We took a lot of things out on everyone. Including my mom's boyfriend at the time. My parents were fighting through e-mails too. About three months later, I started dating him. You know when you think you love someone? Well, that's exactly what I was thinking. I just wanted to be somebody who cares about me. He did try to impress me with everything.
So for seven months, we were under so much stress trying to make a living. There were times when I had so much fun. Up there, I didn't. I can't say why, but I know that I didn't. It was a hard time.
We moved out of my aunt's house in June of 2006. That's when I created this account.
One day, my mom, my sister, and I were in a church watching these kids dancing to a song. All of a sudden, I began to cry out of nowhere. I didn't know why either. I was glad that Paul and Gina helped me out a whole lot. I didn't want to go through that anymore. I wanted to be with someone who I can trust and someone who loves me for who I am.
Ryan was living in Houston by that time.
I remember listening to myself. It was like God was trying to say something to me, but I didn't know what it was. I cried for four hours. Gina was telling me that God is healing me and he is helping me through everything. I believed that. I believed that he was doing what he can to help me with all the things that I was going through.
I came back to Mississippi in July of 2006. I wasn't listening to pop anymore. I was starting to listen to some metal from the 80s. I thought that was the best music I had ever heard. I grew up with that anyway.
I move back to Gautier where I grew up. I was happy that I came back to my home state, but not at the town that I grew up in. I start my sophomore year there and the year goes by fast. There, I meet the people that I know and change my old ways to the new. The way that I was supposed to be.
So I meet this guy and didn't know what was going on. We had a friend in common and started talking on the internet.
There were people that were new to me and others who weren't. I had lunch and I keep looking at this guy thinking that he seemed lonely because he never had anyone sitting with him at all. That was all I thought about throughout the semester.
He was alone, but there were others that did talk to him. There was one person he sat with who was in one of my classes. But I didn't do anything about it. I sat with my friends.
I started dating David Longstreet in April of 2007. That lasted for four weeks. He asked me out the day before the strike started. He broke up with me the day the strike ended. That didn't go so well.
I thought it was a fun year anyway. I go to Disney World with the band. I had a great time and it was the best trip I've had. The next week was the SOAR Rally. Everyone was being dismissed early for that reason. I had to perform there and it was not the best time.
I go to the cafeteria with a friend and we find a friend talk to someone. We stood right behind the guy and it turns out that he was the person that I have seen in lunch. Now that I see him a lot closer than I have before, I liked his hair.
So my friend introduces herself and asks for his name. His name is Ryan. I didn't know what to think, I just knew that I liked him when my friend introduced me to him. That's when I saw his face. I couldn't help but look his expression. He had the look like the time had just stopped for him. heart
I could only think of the time stopping for me knowing that I had just met someone who seems so genuine. We waited so long to get our lunches. My friend stood right by him and I couldn't do anything but to think that he must be the one for me. It was as if God had given me a gift that I never knew.
We finally get our lunches and get our stuff. So our friend and Ryan were sitting at another table. We decide to sit there because of our friend who was named Dusty. He's the one that I talked to on the internet.
He asked me some questions and all he could do was look at me the whole time. I had to eat so that I could perform. So he asked me if I had a myspace and I told him that I do. I got a piece of paper and wrote my e-mail address in a hurry knowing that he would be leaving in a minute.
Once Dusty gets up, I knew that Ryan was about to go home in a minute. One minute later, he got up and left.
All I could think about was that I liked him so much. I knew that he liked me too. Then the next day, I go my best friend's house and spend the night there. I check my e-mail on myspace and find a page full of friend requests. There was someone that I saw who was familiar. That's when I finally realized that it was Ryan. He looked so different when his hair was straightened. I recognize him and I was sorry for that.
I would look through his profile and read everything about him. He was exactly what I was looking for in a guy. Someone who would love me who I am. We had so much in common. He was perfect. He was everything that I wanted.
The next week, I didn't see him at lunch. I was beginning to worry because he wasn't there for three days. I finally found him catching his bus. I gave him a little push and that was something I did to a lot of people. So I asked him why he wasn't at lunch. He told me that he was in ISI.
So I told him that I added him back. His smile made me smile. He had the sweetest smile I have ever seen. That weekend, I had to go to Louisiana and see my uncle graduate college. I told a friend that I wouldn't be meeting her at the mall because of that.
I told Ryan about that too. When I was in Louisiana, I thought about him and I never told anyone about Ryan. Not until he asked me out. That's when I realized that I was in love with him. I dreamed about him and I wanted to be with him. That feeling was like a burning sensation through the veins in my body.
I come back from Louisiana after I have a great time. I meet him again at lunch and after the bell rang, he asked me out. It wasn't the typical question like most guys say it. He just said that we should hang out sometime.
Then he gave me his number. Normally I don't remember numbers and I caught his. So I wrote it down in case I forgot. I never did. The date was May 21, 2007.
I didn't know that he had a sister until the last day of school. I knew his sister when we were kids in the fourth grade. Then I missed my bus, so I went home with him until midnight.
A few days later, we went out on a date to see 28 weeks later. I liked it and it wasn't so bad. When we got back home, we played pillow fight and his bed broke. We sat in front of his tv and that was when we had our first kiss. I loved every moment of it. We lay on the floor until I had to go home.
I had the best time with him that night.
I was so afraid that my parents wouldn't accept our relationship. I lied about a lot of things. I didn't want to lose him. It was like that for a while.
It was two weeks before we said I love you to each other. biggrin
I found out that he has diabetes at a wedding and he never told me about it. I was scared for him. I didn't know what else to do.
On August 25, 2007, he asked me to marry him. I was so happy. I had finally fallen in love with someone who cares about me and doesn't care what anyone else said about me.
I went to Georgia with him on my christmas break during my junior year. I had the best time with him. I could never forget that trip at all. I didn't want to be away from him either.
We were crazy about each other. We couldn't stand to be away from one another. We go through everything. We both got sick. I felt the way he felt and he felt the way I felt. We had a connection. He always knew what's wrong with me and I always knew that he would be alright.
In April of 2008, I had a pregnancy scare. I couldn't see Ryan for a whole month and I was going crazy. So I went to a doctor and I found out that I wasn't pregnant after all. I can't have a kid so young. I didn't want to take birth control, but I had to so that we don't have kids at all.
Since then, I haven't been feeling like myself and we get in little fights sometimes. but we still love each other no matter what. He started working in Wal-Mart at night. Now he doesn't like it and it feels so different now. I wish that eveything was back the way it was and never wait for one of us to be asleep while one of us is awake.
We are getting married in three weeks and I am graduating high school this thursday. Now that I think about it, this will be the best journey of my life.
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The Irisana Story
my life and my alter ego.
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