I'm not sure who to title this letter to- whether it be my best friend Kelcie, or my ex boyfriend, or maybe my science teacher. But I just want someone to listen. I used to not believe in God, because He never really made his way into my life before. Out of nowhere, I asked for some advice from him about what to do about life. It came to me in a dream, that, I should just let things go and have life be the way it is. So now, I just don't want to help anymore. In a way, that last entry is starting to get to me. Not the whole 'paint my walls with my own blood thing'. The line, "I look inside me and see my heart is black." I never had a heart of gold or silver, but now I see. It's a glassy black. Kind of an obsidian glassy black. I've made mistakes in my life and only the ones that hurt people I love do I regret. But God help me, I don't want to make any more. I'm not sure who I want to say goodbye to. Because I love everyone so much. I don't want to say goodbye to life, because I have so much to live for. Not Kelcie- she's the one who helped me find God in my life. And she's the closest thing to a sister I've ever had. Not any of my real friends. They actually give me a reason to live. Maybe I'll say goodbye to myself- and make a whole new me out of this. I should start seeing things in a brighter light, and know that whatever I do, He's waiting up there in Heaven for me. That and all those close to me who have passed. I'll see you when it's my time. Matt, grandma, Natalie, Jonez- maybe even Mizuru. Goodbye me, and hello new one, Samantha Elizabeth Telesco.
PS... Please don't make fun of my name...
XxFragmented_RealityxX · Sat Jun 20, 2009 @ 05:03pm · 0 Comments |